Under .500

No More Bye Week!

2009-11-20T23:32:00.002-06:00

10-5 last week if I can count, 15-13 overall for the past couple weeks. FML

Colts
Cowboys
Browns
Jaguars
Vikings
Saints
Giants
Steelers
Packers
Cardinals
Broncos
Bengals
Patriots
Eagles
Texans
Dolphins

Week 10...Is The Bye Week Run Over?

2009-11-14T20:20:00.003-06:00

I should be writing a paper instead of doing this. I was 5-8 last week, so 5-8 for the second half-ish. But at least I made picks, eh Lucas? Oh wait, you did and texted them to me...

Lucas' week 9 picks...he got 6 right, atl, pats, texans, cards, sea, 49, pack, kc, cinn, no, nyg, phi, den

Week 10...
ATL
MIA
MIN
CIN
TEN
DEN
NO
NYJ
KC
ARI
PHI
GB
NE
BAL
SF

NFL Week 9

2009-11-07T14:12:00.002-06:00

A couple weeks off, a victory lunch, now we're starting the second half. And here...we...GO...

ATL over WAS
ARI over CHI - They are who we thought they were...shitty even with Cutlerfucker
BAL over CIN
HOU over IND
JAX over KC
MIA over NE - This one is for you, Lupus
GB over TB
NO over CAR
SEA over DET
NYG over SD
SF over TEN
PHI over DAL
DEN over PIT - All attributed to Ty Law...no, not really.

A blast from the past, let's take it to Cobra-La...

So...I can't do math...

2009-10-18T09:58:00.002-05:00

9-5 last week. 47-13 overall.

Cin over Hou
GB over Det
Jax over STL
Bal over Min
NYG over NO
Pit over Cle
Car over TB
KC over Was
Phi over Oak
Sea over Ari
NE over Tenn
NYJ over Buf
Atl over Chi
Den over SD

And Here...We...Go...

2009-10-10T15:04:00.002-05:00

13-1 last week, 48-8 overall

Bal over Cin
Min over STL
Phi over TB
Was over Car
Pit over Det
NYG over Oak
KC over Dal
Buf over Cle
Atl over SF
Ari over Hou
Sea over Jax
Den over NE
Ind over Ten
NYJ over Mia

2009-10-01T22:20:00.003-05:00

11-5 last week, 35-7 overall.

Was over TB
NE over Bal
Chi over Det
Ten over Jax
Hou over Oak
Cin over Cle
Ind over Sea
NYG over KC
Mia over Buf
NO over NYJ
SF over STL
Den over Dal
Pit over SD
Min over GB

More Picks...Because, Well, Fuck It That's Why...

2009-09-26T17:56:00.003-05:00

14-2 last week, let's keep this on going...

Bal over Cle
Was over Det
Hou over Jax
Atl over NE
GB over STL
NYG over TB
Ten over NYJ
Phi over KC
Min over SF
NO over Buf
Chi over Sea
Pit over Cin
Den over Oak
SD over Mia
Ind over Ari
Dal over Car

Hastily Made...Just The Way I Like Them

2009-09-18T22:46:00.002-05:00

It's NFL time...actually, it was a week ago. Anyway, I have entered into a gentleman's agreement with a friend to compete for lunch over internet picks...yes, I am a fatty. So, without further ado, here are said picks...

Atl over Car
Min over Det
GB over Cin
Hou over Ten
Oak over KC
Jets over NE
NO over Phi
Was over STL
Ari over Jax
SF over Sea
Buf over TB
Pit over Chi
Den over Cle
Bal over SD
NYG over Dal
Indy over Mia

Yeah, I said it, more detail maybe with next week. I leave you this...and I'm sorry it's crap quality...

On Decorum...

2009-09-09T23:09:00.004-05:00

The shout heard round the world, tonight, during President Obama's speech to a joint session of Congress over health care reform. While there is a certain amount of decorum that goes along with attending a Presidential speech to a joint session of Congress, it is at this time that I must say this...

HO-LY CRAP THAT WAS AWESOME!

Seriously, that was probably the most entertainment I've gotten out of one of the President's speeches in a while, probably because he gives them way too often, and I think the President is one of the best public speakers I've heard in my life.

But seriously folks, outbursts like that are not the way to win back the White House in 2012, much less Congress in 2010, and it was a smart move for Rep. Wilson to apologize immediately to the President. Can't wait to see how this gets treated by the media...

A Good Idea That Falls Short...

2009-03-29T11:02:00.007-05:00

Before I get to into this, I would like to say that I am a wrestling fan and have been since I was a kid. That said, when I heard that there was going to be a WWE Legends game, I was reasonably excited. I like the Smackdown v. Raw series and the controls for those games are some of the best in a wrestling game since the old N64 days. But, I must say that the controls are where this game falls short for me.

The control system uses the 4 face buttons and features a chain system that is similar to chain events that take place in Marvel: Ultimate Alliance and Spider-Man 3. It's cool and all to be able to make chains like that and pull of finishers through that means, but it just doesn't hold up to the controls in other WWE games. Sometimes the controls work great, and other times they lead to large amounts of frustration. I understand that they were aiming to make this game simple to just pick up and play, but is the sacrifice of a good control scheme necessary just to try and gain a few more players, especially when the control system for the other games is simple?

Controls aside, the roster is awesome. Finally, a game that features a large assortment of legends, as opposed to the 4-5 that are unlockable on the Smackdown v. Raw games. Even better, you can import rosters and created wrestlers from Smackdown v. Raw 09 and use them in the game. This leads to a massive roster and also allows for some matchups that are unable to be made just on the 09 iteration of Smackdown v. Raw. While it would have also been cool to be able to import the legends into the other game, it is understandable why they chose not to do this.

Game modes feature the Wrestlemania Tour, Legend Killer and Exhibition. In Wrestling Tour, you can relive, rewrite, and redefine classic Wrestlemania matches such as Hogan/Warrior, Austin/Michaels, Austin/Hart, Austin/Rock, Hogan/Slaughter and most fun of all, Hogan/Andre. In relive, you essentially relive the match and feature an assortment of objectives that, if met, will gain you a medal. In rewrite, you rewrite the match and change the outcome, and in redefine you can add in different match types to change the set up of the match completely. For Legend Killer, you take a created wrestler through the gauntlet and beat legend after legend, while earning experience along the way.

Overall, this game is a great premise, give the fans a game featuring nothing but legends of the WWE. But it is in the execution that this game falls short and leaves a lot to be desired. Hopefully, they can make enough to build a sequel, but make the changes to the control scheme to make it an overall better experience. Then and only then will it be a true Legend of Wrestlemania.

Wombat Score: 3 Wombats

Holy Jesus A Review

2009-03-29T10:51:00.003-05:00

So there is going to be something new going on here from now on, and I call it a review. Whether it is music, movies, video games, a tv show, or maybe even a book, I am going to review it if I feel the need. This is part necessity as I am bored often, and part necessity because I often times can't come up with a lot to write about that I actually care about. And because I think my opinion is important, no matter how wrong I may be with that.

To do this, I needed to create a system of rating, and after much deliberation the Wombat has been decided. Behold the majestic Wombat picture and revel in his glory. It will be a scale of 1-5 with 1 being crap and 5 being good, though, 5 does mean perfect and that is a rarity, so don't expect it much. So, until next time, FEAR THE WOMBAT!

Another Under .500 Top Ten List...(Insert Annoyed Grunt)

2009-03-28T19:36:00.018-05:00

It's that time of year again, time for another list of 10 of my favorite things. The topic this time, oddly enough, is not sports related at all. It is time to talk some video games. Before anyone crucifies me over this, bear in mind that this is my list of favorite games that I've played in my lifetime. This is in no way supposed to be the 10 best games ever made because that would be silly and impossible to argue, these are just the games that I have enjoyed throughout my 22 years of gaming. That said, let us get this shindig started.

10. The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time (N64)

Before I get ripped for this, let me begin with this sentence. I like all of the Zelda games. I've played almost all of them, short of many of the Game Boy iterations. Ocarina of Time, though, has been the one that stands out to me the most as my favorite. I can play this game over and over and have just as much fun as I did the initial time.

Favorite Moment: First time making the change from Kid Link to Adult Link, I mean wow.

9. Madden NFL (XBOX)
I love football, plain and simple. From the first time I played Madden when I got to college, I knew I was playing a game that I would enjoy for a long, long time. Regardless of the season, this game is one that I will set aside cash for every year that it is released.

Favorite Moment: Finally beating my roommate for the first time since I met him in 2004.

8. Tetris (NES)
One of the first games I ever played, I can waste countless hours playing Tetris more than I can any other game that I have owned. Great times all around when Tetris is involved.

Favorite Moment: Anything to do with Russia involved in that game. I have never had a better source for cracks about Russia in my life.

7. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2 (NES)
One of the only games I have ever played at an arcade, I spent more of my Mom's quarters on this game at the skating rink than she will ever know. Great game and one of the first XBOX arcade games I ever got, though it would not be the last.

Favorite Moment: Beating that bastard, The Shredder.

6. Contra (NES)
One of the only games my brother and I ever really played together that didn't end in us getting into a fight, probably because it was one of the only games we played together in which we worked together instead of against eachother. Great game and one that I gladly downloaded on XBOX Live as well.

Favorite Moment: Finally beating the game over a decade after the first time I played it, stupid broken Nintendo.

5. Castlevania: Symphony of the Night (PS1)
Awesome game, awesome series, awesome story, and an even more awesome main character. Alucard, to me, is cooler than pretty much any Belmont you can find. This game was the one that got me back playing my PS1 games after playing through every PS2 game I owned.

Favorite Moment: Finally beating that damn game again when I re-acquired it after initially selling many of my PS1 games.

4. Final Fantasy VIII (PS1)
The Final Fantasy that took me 2 years to truly appreciate. The story isn't as bad as I initially had though, the music wasn't as bad as I had intitially believed, and the 4 discs definitely aren't as boring as I had originally though. The first time I tried to sit down and beat this game, I only got halfway through the first disc before getting bored. It wasn't until 2 years later that I sat myself down and saw how fun this game really is.

Favorite Moment: The Garden battle with Galbadia Garden at the end of disc 2.

3. Metal Gear Solid (PS1)
My favorite of all the Metal gear games, though I never played the first two until after this, it still holds up against the test of time after all these years. The Ninja, still my favorite, is great fun, and Psycho Mantis still creeps the bejeezus out of me. Though the fight with Metal Gear Rex is still one of my favorites of all time, it just falls short of my favorite moment.

Favorite Moment: Sniper Wolf. Enough said.

2. Final Fantasy VII (PS1)
Still my favorite game of the disc era, this game is one that I could play through and start over more times than any other. It still is one of the hardest games I've played to try and get everything, and I doubt I would play it again if I did. So many moments that stand out to me as just simply awesome, from the rocket launch to Aerith's death, just a great story all around.

Favorite Moment: I know everyone will be expecting Aerith's death here, but I'm definitely going to have to say no to that one, despite how amazing it is. My favorite moment is...ok, ya got me, it is Aerith's death. Damn that was anti-climactic.

1. Gunsmoke (NES)
Never before have I been so dedicated to a game and never beaten it. This game is hard as hell. It was stolen and I spent a long time trying to find it again, even going as far to play it on emulators that were no comparison to playing it on the NES. Finally, I found it again and still couldn't beat this damn game. Still great fun, though. I can play it all day.

Favorite Moment: Finding this game again after a decade and still failing to beat it. Someday...

Honorable Mention:

Halo Saga (XBOX/360)

Tony Hawk Saga (XBOX/PS1/PS2)

Call of Duty: Modern Warfare (360)

Super Mario Collection (NES/N64/Gamecube/Wii)

Street Fighter Collection (Sega/360)

Marvel Ultimate Alliance (360)

X-Men Legends 1&2 (XBOX)

NCAA Football (XBOX/360)
All pictures found through google images, good stuff, use them. Due credit given.

YouTubage

2009-03-27T14:25:00.004-05:00

And people wonder why the general population hates cops. What a dick.

On Pot Smoking Olympians

2009-02-05T20:51:00.006-06:00

Before I get into this, I want to state that first of all I don't smoke pot and I probably never will. Not that I think there is anything wrong with it, I just don't care to smoke anything. Anyway, here...we...go...

A few days ago, the pictures that shook a nation and took away a countries national innocence for the 50 bajillionth time were unleashed upon the interwebs. Michael Phelps took a bong hit and was photographed! Oh no, think of the children! WHY WON'T ANYONE THINK OF THE CHILDREN?!?!?

Ok, ok, maybe that is a little excessive, maybe you could call that an overreaction, but most of all, maybe you could call that the reaction that has taken place to these photos. Now, it was stupid on Phelps' part, granted it was also stupid of him to get a DUI underage, but what was the main stupid offense here? Was it that he actually smoked pot, or was it that he got photographed doing it?

When I worked in the residence halls at the university I attended, we were very much under the same scrutiny. The same way that Phelps can lose his sponsorships for being photographed doing something that our society would call unsavory or detrimental to his role model status and having it leaked to the public, I could have lost my job for doing the same thing and having it put up on Facebook, MySpace, or anywhere else. I completely feel for him on this one, but have to wonder, how stupid can the guy be?

When he got his DUI while he was underage, I had to wonder, if you're a world renowned athlete and want to get drunk, why would you not have someone to drive for you? Do you not have enough friends that you can say something to the effect of, "Hey, I want to get drunk, will you drive for me?" and be able to get a ride?

At that point, he had won a few gold medals and had some endorsement money, he could have probably even paid someone to be his driver. But that was a little over 4 years ago, now Phelps is in trouble for smoking pot. Once again, this is something that is easily avoidable as an issue. If you want to get high, do it before you go to the party. It's not that difficult to do at all, especially with who you are. I'm willing to bet that you could mooch some pot off of someone already there and smoke it out of the public view or have one of your people get some pot for you for free.

Instead of taking the easy precautions, Phelps now is facing a three month ban from USA Swimming, the governing body of competitive swimming in the United States, and he has lost his Kellogg Co. endorsement when his current deal expires. I'm sure it isn't that big of a hit to his wallet, given all of the endorsements that he has, but it's still money and the suspension still interferes with his training for the world championships in Rome in July. Just a lot of trouble that could have been prevented.

But in the grand scheme of things, is it really that big of a deal? I say, simply, that it is not. For as long as I can remember, professional athletes have been idolized by our society and been viewed role models. I cross-referenced it with my parents childhoods, and they said the same thing was going on for them as well. But how is it that an athlete like Babe Ruth can be an alcoholic and a womanizer who routinely exercised the use of hookers and still not be demonized in the public eye? Then it hit me like a wild Mike MacDougal fastball, it is all the media.

We currently live in the ESPN age, where they will report anything and everything they can to get a story, regardless of how much truth is involved. Recent memory brings to mind the Kordell Stewart being gay story, the Mike Shanahan to the Chiefs story, everything reported ever by Ed Werder and many more were all stories reported by ESPN off of a rumor. Because of this, and their itchy trigger-finger when it comes to beating a story into the ground, when ESPN gets something they do not let it go at all. Factor that in with their partnership with ABC, and you've got a mess just waiting to happen.

Back in the day, they didn't talk about the players activities outside of the field, or court, or diamond. There was discretion shown as far as what the mainstream media would report on about athletes. These days, you don't see it at all anymore and that is why we have this current situation with Phelps. A decade ago, you wouldn't have seen this with an athlete because our society has changed, permanently, thanks to the internet. Now, I can just go to Deadspin to see what other bonehead moves the athletes I watch on a regular basis are doing. If it gets enough momentum, ESPN might mention it and turn it into World War 3, it really is crazy how that works. Or, if I want to go see what athlete ESPN feels like attempting to bury, Adam Jones I am looking in your direction, I can turn it there and see what story they are either blowing out of proportion or making up completely. I could even get the picture and sell it to a paper in London thanks to our technology. The times really have changed, really, they have.

The point I'm trying to make is that in the grand scheme of things, all that the Michael Phelps story really is is a story about a dumb kid who made a mistake. So he smoked a little pot and got photographed, he didn't fail a drug test, he could have been doing something far far worse, and I'm willing to bet that everyone reporting on this story and scrutinizing him has probably smoked pot at one point or another in their life as well. Just give the kid a break already and let him get back to winning a ridiculous amount of gold medals, maybe if you smoke pot, you can too.

Finally....I Have Come Back...

2008-11-29T20:18:00.005-06:00

So it has definitely been a while...

School has been killer, work has been even more so, and it won't get any better soon, but I thought I would drop in this little bit of stuff.

1. College Football Tournament

I saw this on Deadspin today and I thought I would share. If we had a playoff in college football featuring 8 teams that started after this week, it would look like this...

1. Alabama 11-0

8. Penn State 11-1

2. Texas 10-1

7. Texas Tech 10-1

3. Oklahoma 10-1

6. Utah 12-0

4. Florida 10-1

5. USC 9-1

I see nothing wrong with that at all, in fact, I think all of those games are at least interesting. Bama and former number 3 Penn State, a rematch of the Texas and Texas Tech game that was very fun to watch, Oklahoma taking on a non-BCS team given their past with those, and Florida and USC which would be fun to watch at any time. Plus, you can still play the championship games next week and start this on December 20, play all 4 first round games and play the next round on the 27th, then the championship on Jan 5 like it would be anyway. You can take all of the lesser bowls and offer those up to everyone outside of the top 8 tournie so they can share in extra bowl money and let those serve like the NIT does in basketball. It's amazing, and it took me 5 minutes. Now do your job, Mr. Obama.

2. Alabama is Number 1

I'm a huge Alabama fan. While not as much as I am a fan of the NFL, I do love me some Tide. I am also loving this season as it was a complete shock to me. I didn't see this coming at all, but hot damn I hope they keep it up, and yes, I do honestly think they can beat Florida.

3. Denver Broncos are on Top of the AFC West

Don't get me wrong, it has been hideous, but I'm still loving it because they're right about where I expected them to be. They should finish 10-6 and make the playoffs on top of the division, from there I don't expect much more than maybe 1 and done, but they might surprise a lot of people. And, and, and...Jay Cutler is a beast and a half. Also, picks back next season.

4. Graduation In 3 Weeks

Yes, I graduate college in 3 weeks. I have no clue what I'm going to do, no clue where I am going to go, and no clue on what I think I want to do, and I wouldn't have it any other way. It's going to be a glorious glorious day/night/weekend full of a lot of fun.

5. Christmas and all that it Entails

It's back, just like me. Christmas is coming and very exciting to have here since it will probably be the last year that I get anything good at all. After this I'm going to be done being spoiled and I'll have to buy stuff for myself...damn. On second thought, I'm not excited for that at all.

Keep Rollin Rollin Rollin Rollin...

Something To Think About...

2008-05-07T01:01:00.003-05:00

In my life, I complain a lot. I act like every little thing that happens to me is the end of the world, that I can't find a job and stay in Emporia this summer, that my dinner in the cafeteria wasn't food that I wanted to eat tonight, that I'm burned out on my current job and don't want to do it anymore. I think the world is this horrible place that is meant to just screw me over continually, I get more and more cynical and I get more and more irritable. I piss and moan like it is all going to come crashing down on me, not realizing that what I have going on is nothing compared to that of millions of other people in the world. Then I go to Deadspin and I read a story about an 18 year old with cancer named John Challis getting to have what could be one last at bat.

Say what you want about the importance of sports in our society, that it is just a game, a waste of time, and that in the grand scheme of things it is inconsequential, but tell that to this kid. An avid sports fan, John played football and baseball, even seeing action in both at the high school level for limited time. Then came April 14, Challis was put in to pinch-hit and Pittsburgh Post-Gazette was there covering it. To summarize would do this no justice, so here is what Mike White had to say about it...

"He hasn't played in a few years, but he's called on to pinch-hit. His eyes light up at the first pitch and he puts all of his 5-foot-5, 93-pound frame into one mighty swing, making contact and sending a line drive into right field for a single -- if he can reach first base. The cancer he's been battling for almost two years has spread to his pelvis, making running nearly impossible. The kid worries about falling as he hustles down the first-base line. When he gets to the base, he lets out with a yell. 'I did it! I did it!' Safe at first with a hit and an RBI, the kid is hugged by a crying first-base coach. The opposing pitcher takes off his glove, starts applauding and his teammates follow suit. The kid's teammates run onto the field to celebrate."

Only a short couple of week before this, he was told by doctors that he had possibly 2 months to live. It sounds like something you would see in a Disney movie, but it isn't, this is real life. The kicker in all of this is that, when it could go down as a sad story of a boy going too soon, it is so much more. The testimonial from the coach, Mr. Wetzel, put it best...

"He spoke from his heart," Mr. Wetzel, the coach, said. "He said, 'I've got two options. I know I'm going to die, so I can either sit at home and feel sorry, or I could spread my message to everybody to live life to the fullest and help those in need.' After hearing that, I don't know if there were many people not crying."

The attitude that John Challis has maintained throughout this adversity in his life might not have the same effect on you that it has me, in fact, it may not have any effect on you at all. But the next time that you think you have it all so bad because you have a big homework assignment due that you waited until the last minute on, you get a flat tire on your car, or are just having a bad day, take some time to ask yourself just how bad you really have it. Take some time out to ask yourself if everything is really as horrible as you're making it out to be, if maybe you should lay off the cynicism. I think Challis has it right...

"I guess I can see why people see me as an inspiration," he said. "But why do people think it's so hard to see things the way I do? All I'm doing is making the best of a situation." John then raises his voice. "Why can't people just see the best in things? It gets you so much further in life. It's always negative this and negative that. That's all you see and hear."

Maybe we can all learn a lesson...

*To Read This Article, Click Me*
*All credit due to Mike White of the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette.*
*Thanks to Deadspin for introducing the article.*

(Insert Name Here) Blowout!

2008-01-30T23:54:00.000-06:00

I'm not about to use the logo or name the game and get sued.

It's that time of year again, that big game that I refuse to name for fear of getting sued is coming up on Sunday and I figured it was about time to write something new. So, without further ado, this is my bonanza on the game, or as I like to call it, me writing about one or two topics about the game that I care about.

Tom Brady And His Boot:
About a week ago, the story broke through footage from TMZ that Tom was wearing a boot on his plant foot, immediately it was all that you heard about on the WWL and multiple other news outlets. Now, I could be wrong about this, but I really don't care about whether Tom is wearing a boot or not. Yeah, it could be considered news, but at the same time I don't think it is threatening to their performance in the game unless something comes out about him having a serious injury, which has yet to happen. The only bright spot of this was the joking about who was going to play quarterback that went on between the receivers, it only would have been better if later in the week a story broke about Randy Moss wearing a boot, then Wes Welker, then Adalius Thomas and so on throughout the roster. The thing for me is that I would see wearing the boot as a preventative measure at this point, very similar to a pitcher icing his arm and wrapping it after a game or a running icing their knees after a race, if I was a professional football player I would be wearing one after a game if i even stepped the wrong way during or after the game.

Randy Moss Being A Quitter:
A year ago Randy Moss essentially "quit" the Raiders. Now, he is in the big game playing for the undefeated Patriots, and apparently some people in the media have taken issue with that. Screw that, anyone of his calibre that happened to be playing for the Raiders under Art Shell should have done the same thing. The Raiders were, are, and always will be a sinking ship until Al Davis calls it quits, whether with the time or life. Congratulations to Randy Moss, you did what you had to do to get out of Oakland and into a winning team where you have shown that you can mature and become a team player as opposed to classic Randy.

Those are two of the stories I wanted to preach on before the game, there will be more in the coming days...be excited.

Week 17

2007-12-28T17:57:00.000-06:00

I don't really know why I'm going to bother this week. Week 17 means that it is about 4 teams really playing, and a lot of teams tanking for draft picks, and a couple teams resting starters. Oh yeah, and I guess some team is going to try and go 16-0 for the first time ever. I'm just going to list who I think will win.

Eagles
Tampa Bay
Bengals
Steelers
Browns
Packers
Texans
Saints
Redskins
Broncos
Seahawks
Chargers
Rams
Jets
Titans
Patriots

Week 16

2007-12-20T19:23:00.000-06:00

Xmas Break, I hate it.

Winners in Bold

Pittsburgh v. STL

Dallas v. Carolina

NY Giants v. Buffalo

KC v. Detroit

Philly v. New Orleans

Oakland v. Jacksonville

Cleveland v. Cincinnatti

Green Bay v. Chicago

Houston v. Indianapolis

Atlanta v. Arizona

Tampa Bay v. San Francisco

NY Jets v. Tennessee

Baltimore v. Seattle

Miami v. New England

Washington v. Minnesota

Denver v. San Diego

Finals = Hell and Week 15

2007-12-14T14:41:00.000-06:00

Finals week, sorry this is late.

Week 15 Picks
Shitty last week, plus shitty start to this week. I haven't done the math yet, but it was ugly. Anyway, winners in bold.

Broncos vs. Texans

Bengals vs 49ers

Browns vs Bills

Chiefs vs Titans

Packers vs Rams

Ravens vs Dolphins

Patriots vs Jets

Saints vs Cards

Steelers vs Jags

Bucs vs Falcons

Seahawks vs Panthers

Colts vs Raiders

Cowboys vs Eagles

Chargers vs Lions

Giants vs Redskins

Vikings vs Bears

19-0, Week 14

2007-12-06T15:20:00.000-06:00

Drop the Farm Animal, and Slowly Back Away...

Now that the Patriots going undefeated seems a lot closer and a lot more probable, pending a win against Pittsburgh, I decided it was time to finally address that whole situation. Despite Spygate, despite the incessant running up the score on their opponents, despite Tom being gay and apparently into beastiality, and despite their head coach being a hobo, I am in complete support of New England going udnefeated this year. Spygate was in the first half of week 1, they didn't have time to use anything they got and if you really believe that they're the only team to do it then you're pretty stupid anyway. Don Shula can kiss my ass for trying to say they need an asterisk if they go undefeated, you're just pissed that you couldn't have done it yourself, you crazy old coot. I love how they run up the score too, they are the best team in the NFL and they know it. More power to them, if you can't stop them then you get what you get. The fact of the matter is that the Patriots are the model franchise right now, built around winning as a team. Look at Randy Moss now, and remember how he was in Oakland and Minnesota. They have the right philosophy and the right players who all have the mindset about winning, regardless of if they have to take a paycut or even be cut for a period of time to help with the cap situation. Don't get me wrong, I hate Simmons and all of the fuckhead Boston fans, but Im willing to let it slide for this one. Plus it gives Tom that unbeatable edge over that fuckwad Peyton Manning, it also helps that I have Tom, Randy, Donte, and Maroney on my fantasy team(s). Now if only we can get Tom away from the farm animals...

WEEK 14
A horrible 7-9 last week, hopefully a better record for this week. 111-81 on the year, winners in bold.

Chicago v. Washington

Miami v. Buffalo

St. Louis v. Cincinnatti

Dallas v. Detroit

Oakland v. Green Bay

Tampa Bay v. Houston

San Diego v. Tennessee

Carolina v. Jacksonville

NY Giants v. Philadelphia

Arizona v. Seattle

Minnesota v. San Francisco

Pittsburgh v. New England

Kansas City v. Denver

Cleveland v. NY Jets

Indianapolis v. Baltimore

New Orleans v. Atlanta

NFL Network, Week 13

2007-11-29T09:54:00.000-06:00

Kinda Like Communism, But Completely Different

I'm one of the 24 people in America that has the NFL Network. Granted, I have the NFL Network at home, so when I am at school I happen to be shit out of luck. To me, the NFL Network is like Communism. On paper it is a brilliant idea, in practice it actually kind of sucks. On the plus side, I can be involved with the NFL on a whole new level, whether it is the coverage you get from NFL Total Access, their coverage of the Combine, their training camp coverage, the new series about each Super Bowl, and even when they show non-NFL events like the World Cup of American Football. On the downside, not everyone has it, so when they show games on Thursday nights noone gets to watch. In the past, I haven't been worried about that a all because they have generally had fairly shitty games on the NFL Network and the one that I did care about I got on free TV anyway. Tonight is the Green Bay Packers playing the Dallas Cowboys on the NFL Network, and I don't get to watch the game because I am at school. The supposed "Battle for the NFC" is tonight, and a majority of people will not get to watch it at all. I'm going to have to go to a bar to watch, and even then I might not get to see it because the cable carrier in Emporia feels the need to not have it in their packages. The NFL Network is on the verge of failing, and unless they can get their shit together, then we may lose what was once a brilliant idea that fell just a little short in practice.

WEEK 13
104-72 on the year, 8-8 last week, here's hoping this week turns out better. I mean shoot, who thought the Bengals would go nuts, Oakland would win a division game an Denver would be dumb enough to kick to Hester again even after he ran one back for a TD.

Green Bay v. Dallas - Tough choice, but my gut says Dallas.

San Francisco v. Carolina - Better question is, who cares?

Jacksonville v. Indianapolis - So hot right now, should beat slumping Colts.

Buffalo v. Washington - RIP Man-Beast.

Houston v. Tennessee - This is a toss up depending on which Titans show up.

Atlanta v. St. Louis

Seattle v. Philadelphia

Detroit v. Minnesota

NY Jets v. Miami - Crap shoot.

San Diego v. Kansas City - Fool me once, shame on you...

Denver v. Oakland - Outright win this time.

Cleveland v. Arizona

NY Giants v. Chicago - If Elisha doesn't throw 50 bajillion picks.

Tampa Bay v. New Orleans

Cincinnatti v. Pittsburgh

New England v. Baltimore - Philly came close, but Baltimore won't do it.

Christmas Specials, Week 12

2007-11-20T01:12:00.000-06:00

My God I Love This Tree and I Don't Know Why

As a kid, Christmas was always my favorite holiday, granted, for all the wrong reasons. Ignoring everything to do with religion was the way to go, it was all about the presents as a kid. Now, my favorite holiday is Thanksgiving, all because of food, football and family. Despite this, I still love to watch a lot of the Christmas themed movies and shows on TV even if they are deemed for children. To commemorate this, I have put together my Top Ten Favorite Christmas Related Programs. So, without further ado...

The Under .500 Christmas Related Program Top Ten

10. A Christmas Story (1983)
To start, no movie should ever be aired for 24 hours straight. I don't care what movie it is, it just should not happen at all. I like the movie a lot, but not enough to watch it for 24 hours the straight, the only good part of it being on that much is that I can watch it one time through over the course of that 24 hours. One time a year is about all I can stand of this one, despite it being a classic and one of the best in my childhood.

9. Santa Claus Conquers The Martians (1964)
I don't remember how I heard about this movie, I think it was from my dad, but all I know is that this is the greatest shitty B-Christmas movie ever. It provides excellent entertainment at 3AM now, ever since they decided to quit showing Hook at that time of night. Not a mainstream classic, but a classic in my family.

8. A Flintstones Christmas Carol (1994)
They show this about 20 times a year on Cartoon Network, it makes my day every time it is on. A Christmas Carol is probably my favorite Christmas story ever, partly because it is more of a political statement than anything and partly because my first memory of it is watching an oral presentation of it one Christmas Eve night with my dad that featured James Earl Jones and an A-list of other actors reading Dickens' classic.

7. Frosty The Snowman (1969)
This is a classic, plain and simple. Growing up I would scour the TV guide to find out when this was on so that I could tune in and watch. I'm pretty sure that we got it on VHS at one point and my mom made it disappear because I would watch it year round.

6. Rudolph The Red-Nosed Reindeer (1964)
Another classic in the anoles of Christmas TV specials. Yukon Cornelius is God, the Abominable Snowman is Jesus and the elf that wants to be a dentist is gay. God that is great story telling.

5. A Charlier Brown Christmas (1965)
Classic number four on my list. I used to be able to quote the whole special in my formative days, yes I was a nerd and still am. This is one of those quintessential classics that I only hope I can watch with my kids when I potentially have them.

4. Simpsons Roasting on an Open Fire (1989)
I think that this is the most recent on my list so far, and with good reason. This is not only the first Christmas episode of The Simpsons, it is also the first episode of The Simpsons. Telling the classic tale of how the family got Santa's Little Helper, this episode has it all. Bart gets a tattoo, Homer loses his bonus and dresses as a mall Santa, Homer gambles, and Marge uses the Christmas money to pay for Bart's tattoo removal, simply amazing.

3. How The Grinch Stole Christmas (1966)
Fuck that Jim Carrey shit, this is the real motherfuckin deal. Dr. Seuss is a king among men for this tale of Christmas cheer, burglary, and breaking/entering. Plus, the dog is just too cute, there, I said it. I also love to hear and sing the song...You're a mean one, Mr. Grinch.

2. It's A Wonderful Life (1946)
If you don't like this movie, then fuck you. This is the epitome of the word classic. I remember watching this as the kick-off to my holiday season viewing every Thanksgiving night with my parents, sadly NBC decided to ditch that in favor of The Incredibles. James Stewart as George Bailey is one of the few characters from any movie to really make me feel bad for them. Hell, I have more respect for him than Atticus Finch, and that is saying something because Gregory Peck would make Chuck Norris his bitch.

1. National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation (1989)
This is the pivotal Christmas movie for my family. Every year my mom would try to make us the Waltons and we would end up full fledged Griswold by the day's end. Not to mention we have quite a few Cousin Eddies in my family. When I have my own house and family, my house will look like the Griswold's with all of the lights. It really isn't Christmas time until I watch this movie, and I do believe it will be about a week or two before I see it. What better way to kick off finals?

WEEK 12 PICKS (Winners in Bold)
96-64 on the year, an even 60%.

Green Bay @ Det - Not going against them on Thanksgiving this year.

NYJ @ Dal

Indy @ ATL - Wouldn't it be a bitch if ATL won?

NO @ Car

Ten @ Cin

Min @ NYG

Sea @ STL - STL is on a roll, but Seattle kind of it too.

Was @ TB

Oak @ KC

Buf @ Jac

Hou @ Cle - Toss up, but I think Houston has a better defense...oddly enough.

SF @ Ari

Bal @ SD

Den @ Chi - Didn't they move this for the Griese storyline?

Phi @ NE

Mia @ Pit - Miami should never be on MNF.

Week 11 and Barry Bonds

2007-11-16T10:38:00.000-06:00

I Don't Like You, But You're Kinda Getting Screwed

Baseball is one of my three favorite sports, right up there with both varieties of football. I used to go to see my Royals play every year for my birthday until I went to college, and I still go as often as I can. Baseball was a uniter in my family, my brother was great at it, my dad enjoyed it, and my mom could actually get into it. It was a better time, back when I was younger and barely knew what the hell a steroid was, back before McGwire broke Maris' record in his homerun race and back when Barry Bonds didn't look like he had obviously taken something. The sad thing about it all is, that we got duped. We all got drawn in by the spectacle of Sosa and McGwire, I did too, hell, I even had the poster chronicling eveyr home run that he hit. Baseball was declining and it came at just the right time to make it exciting and get the national interest back into the game, but the fact of the matter was that we got duped. McGwire was the same as Bonds, compare cards from the careers and you can tell, though McGwire isn't as blatently obvious. In the midst of all of the excitement we neglected to even think about how roided up those two had to have been, and we know Bug Selig didn't care, the sport was getting a renewed interest from the nation. Now Barry Bonds has been indicted, but what do they have on him? The government has been working for years to try an get him without anything, so why would they suddenly have some new information now? Were they just waiting for him to break the record? I don't like the guy, but when did he fail a test? Oh yeah, thats right, he never failed one. This isn't Major League Baseball finally making a stand when it comes to stuff like this, this is Major League Baseball engaging in the worst scapegoatism since Germany in the 1930's. I know that steroids are bad for you, but why are they focusing all of their energy on Barry when they have other guys like Rick Ankiel, Paul Byrd, Jason Grimsely, Troy Glaus and a ton of other players who have either failed tests or been implicated through some other means? It's ridiculous, and even kinda sad to think that Barry is going to be publicly crucified for something that noone can prove happened. The worst part of it all is ESPN, so quick to always bring up the questions about Barry, yet when one of your "analysts" admits taking steroids on the air you cover it up like it was Watergate. Barry, I don't like you, but you're really getting fucked on this one. At least you'll have your record for another few years...until A-Rod takes it.

WEEK 11
7-7 last week, not too good, but better than a scroogey communist friend of mine. 84-60 on the year, which is decent I guess, I don't really know.

WEEK 11 PICKS, WINNERS IN BOLD

Cleveland vs. Baltimore

Jacksonville vs. San Diego

Philadelphia vs. Miami

Minnesota vs. Oakland

Indianapolis vs. Kansas City - 2 in a row was unlikely, but 3 is not possible

Green Bay vs. Carolina

New York Giants vs. Detroit

Tampa Bay vs. Atlanta

New Orleans vs. Houston

New England vs. Buffalo - As Ja Rule would say, it's MURDAHHHHHHHH

Cincinnati vs. Arizona

Pittsburgh vs. New York Jets

San Francisco vs. St. Louis

Dallas vs. Washington

Seattle vs. Chicago - The Sex Cannon will rise again

Denver vs. Tennessee

Google images for the pic...as always

Denver and Week 10

2007-11-08T21:14:00.000-06:00

Dammit No

I decided to wait on writing this post until later in the week because I felt that writing it while I was still pissed off about the game woul end up being a bad decision. This year, I had such high hopes for the Broncos. On paper it felt like they were one of the only teams that could go toe to toe with the Patriots and make it a close game, if not win it all. Then came the injuries, Ebenezer Ekuban, Tom Nalen, Ben Hamilton, Javon Walker, Rod Smith, etc. All of them starters, all of them gone for the season, except in Walker's case who could be coming back soon. Then you throw in Travis Henry's problems as well as Brandon Marshall's potential problems and you've got even more thrown on it. Then you add in the new defensive run containment scheme as well as the lack of a true middle linebacker due to Al Wilson leaving and you've got even more problems. They just kepe stacking up, after a 2-2 start, followed by the win against the Steelers after bye week, it looked like things were taking a turn for the better. The young defensive line was stepping up and getting in the back field, the trade where we got Dre Bly finally looked like it was going to work out well for us, and the offense was actually scoring touchdowns and getting points out of the red zone. Then came Green Bay and it looked like they took 2 steps back for every step forward they had. If it weren't for the offense being unable to get points, and a 1 in 200 chance of fumbling the ball on the 1 yard line, Denver probably would have won that game, hell, they probably would have won if they had the ball first in overtime, but that is another story. Then came the Lions game, the heart attack inducing moment of seeing Cutler taken off of the field after being injured, and the 44-7 loss. One bright spot out of that was Patrick Ramsey's 29/46 for 262 yards with 1 INT and 1 TD, giving me faith in our backup QB, a little more than I ever had with Plummer there. Now we come into KC for week 10. Cutler will play, which is good because it gave quite a scare. I could go into analysis of this game, but that would be long and boring, so I will. The Chief's O-line is horrible, simple as that. LJ is out for the game and the Chief's are left with Preist Holmes who has clearly lost a step in his two year layoff. Damon Huard should get eaten alive if the Denver defense that blitzes and gets in the backfield shows up to play on Sunday. The Chief's receivers suck, Dwayne Bowe is going to be great, but he is nursing a hamstring injury now that could slow him down, Eddie Kennison is getting worse with age, and Sammi Parker is the worst player I think I've ever seen. The Chief's defense is good, but are on the field way too much. if the defense can stop their offense and quit allowing them to convert on third down, I think that their offense can exploit the defense being on the field too much and allow for a Broncos win. Also, don't be surprised to see Brodie Croyle before it is all over if the Broncos get ahead quick.

WEEK 10 PICKS (Winners in BOLD)
11-3 last week, 77-53 on the year putting me at 59%. With the way this season has gone, that ain't half bad.

Pittsburgh vs. Cleveland - revenge is beautiful

Washington vs. Philadelphia

Carolina vs. Atlanta - bragging about winning this is like bragging about being the smartest kid with downs syndrome

New Orleans vs. St. Louis

Buffalo vs. Miami

Kansas City vs. Denver

Tennessee vs. Jacksonville

Green Bay vs. Minnesota - please, please Purple Jesus

Baltimore vs. Cincinnati - crapshoot

Dallas vs. New York Giants

Arizona vs. Detroit - 10 wins is a lot closer now

Chicago vs. Oakland

Indianapolis vs. San Diego

Seattle vs. San Francisco

Thanks to KSK and especially Ape for all of your brilliance and wit. This was the only picture of the fumble TD I could find.

Week 9 Picks and ESPN

2007-11-02T00:16:00.000-05:00

Punk Bitch...That Is All

I don't like ESPN, I do believe I have made that point before with my coverage of the "Who's Now" bullshit. There are a few reasons why I don't like them, the largest of which being that they are owned by Disney, but a large second is that they take rumors and try to present them as fact. Case in point, the Kobe Bryant trade rumors with Chicago. Currently, ESPN has been reporting that there were talks to trade Kobe Bryant to the Bulls for Luol Deng, Ben Gordon, Tyrus Thomas and Joakim Noah...and I know that this has been killed by the Bulls GM just tongiht. Anyway, this idea is completely retarded for them to ever consider reporting if only for the fact that it would never, ever, happen in a million years. Kobe Bryant has trade vetoe power, so gutting the Bulls roster for him isn't going to happen. The Kobe-Hinrich-Ben Wallace team doesn't sound too good with the way Wallace played last year and I seriously doubt Kobe would stand for it. Why would he want to allow himself to go to a team that would have little more talent than the current team he is with? Thank you very much ESPN for latching on to the littlest rumor you could find in an effort to come up with something to talk about on Sportscenter since you currently don't have any bullshit promotion like Who's Now or that shitty My Wish bullshit. I almost wish you would start showing that autistic kid who nailed more 3 pointers in one night than I'm sure I have in my life. Also giving me more evidence about ESPN pulling this shit is after Ronnie Brown got injured for the season. In the lead in for Sportscenter, they proceeded to show clips of LT, LJ, Travis Henry, Clinton Portis and a few other big name backs in the league while saying that a running back was injured that past weekend that could have a huge fantasy impact. Now, I saw this on Wed, so God only knows what day it initially aired, but any football fan I know would already know that it was Ronnie Brown. So why show clips of every big name back in the league without showing one of the guy that got hurt? Hell, why are you still reporting on an injury from 4 days before and trying to be vague like you're hiding a spoiler or something? Thank you ESPN for making me hate you ever since Disney bought you and made you go to shit. Fuckin assholes.

Week 9 Picks - Winners In Bold
66-50 on the year, 10-3 last week.

Detroit vs. Denver - Win here in a shootout...pending Denver can get into the end zone.

Atlanta vs. San Francisco

Buffalo vs. Cincinnati

Tennessee vs. Carolina

Kansas City vs. Green Bay - Please, for all that is holy in the world.

San Diego vs. Minnesota

New Orleans vs. Jacksonville - Not with Quinn Gray.

Washington vs. New York Jets

Tampa Bay vs. Arizona

Cleveland vs. Seattle

New England vs. Indianapolis

Oakland vs. Houston

Dallas vs. Philadelphia

Pittsburgh vs. Baltimore

Google Images for the pic.

I'm Probably Gonna Get Sued For This

2007-10-29T00:13:00.000-05:00

I'm Probably Gonna Get Sued For This

As you all know, I am a wrestling fan. While it isn't as well known these days as it was way back in my youth, I still keep myself relatively up to date with the goings on of the WWE and to a lesser extent TNA. Now, I'm not the guy that is going to go stake myself out in the floor lounge to watch every week, but if I see it on, I'll probably check it out until I either get bored or find it way too ridiculous. That is why I came up with this, taking the current WWE roster, I am going to go over a series of storylines that could be used on television if they were smart. The only change to the current roster is that I am going to re-hire Cryme Tyme...not just because they were funny but because they would work the part I need, I also am going to re-hire Teddy Hart. So, without further ado...

First things first, trade Snitsky to Smackdown for MVP, Hardcore Holly/Jim Duggan to Smackdown for Chris Masters and Kenny Dykstra and Santino Marelli/Super Crazy to ECW for CM Punk/Elijah Burke. From there begin a feud with the returning Cryme Tyme with Cade and Murdoch. Have Cryme Tyme return as a team of thugs instead of the fun guys they used to be, sell it on the way they were fired as a means to get over. Wait a couple weeks and give them the belts after they destroy the tag team ranks of Raw and go on to start trying to recruit Superstars such as Elijah Burke, MVP and Shelton Benjamin. Have Burke and MVP join up but delay Shelton for a couple weeks to set up a will he/won't he situation and end it with Benjamin turning on Haas to start a feud there. While this is going on, keep up the Shawn Michaels feud with Orton, maybe even giving Michaels a small run there going in to Survivor Series. During a promo for Michaels, have Harry Smith cut in talking about his families history, bring up the Montreal Screw Job and say that he wants to bury the hatchet between Michaels and the Hart family at Survivor Series. End Survivor series with the New Hart Foundation debut with Teddy Hart, Nattie Neidhart and TJ Wilson screwing over Michaels and giving Orton the title. From there have Michaels and inevitably HHH feud with the New Hart Foundation to put them over. The following night, have Orton cut a promo where Cryme Tyme, Burke, MVP and Shelton come out to intimidate Orton saying that their boss wants to "meet" with him. Lead this up for a few weeks and reveal the boss to be a returning heel Lashley and set up a Randy Orton/Bobby Lashley feud. Have Orton form a counter-alliance with Charlie Haas, Cody Rodes and Kenny Dykstra as the "New Blood" tag team, Chris Masters and Ken Kennedy. Jeff Hardy can feud with Umaga and Carlito over the IC belt, the tag belts can go between Cryme Tyme, the New Blood, Hart Foundation, Kendrick and London, Cade and Murdoch and anyone else they want to throw in there. Have Lashley beat Orton for the belt and play and Orton sidelined storyline giving Kennedy the chance to challenge and elevate himself. When the time comes, they can do the John Cena return and even have him go heel and side with Lashley or even take over Lashley's crew after a loss to Kennedy for the belt.

Accounting for nearly everyone on the Raw roster, aside from the pending Chris Jericho return, and then also adding a few familiar faces, this is a surefire way to bring back the old faction feel to Raw in a limited fashion as a hope to boost ratings and garner new interest. Sure, it may sound like a re-hash of the Nation of Domination, but it worked and can probably work again. It's not like they haven't reused old storylines and factions before, look at the nWo and DX.

It is only when I finish this that I realize how much of a nerd I am, or how much I should be writing for WWE, or both. See what the Red Sox do to me?

Credit for names, characters, everything to WWE including it's logo. Please don't sue me, I promise I know the product.

Fall Break Week 8 Picks

2007-10-26T11:55:00.000-05:00

I just wanted to go out on a limb here and give a list of the top 5 dumbest things of the week. So here we go...

5. New England Fans
What can I say about New England fans that hasn't been said everywhere else. You're all obnoxious fucks that annoy the shit out of me. 95% of you are sad sacks of shit, to the 5% that aren't obnoxious, I'm sorry that you're associated with these assclowns.

4. KU Fans
Congratulations, you're 8-0, but who have you played? You can win out and you still won't get the national championship game, and even if you do, you'll more than likely get crushed by whoever you end up playing unless it ends up being BC.

3. The 10 Year Old On ESPN
Man, you're cool dressing up like Ditka and all. It's too bad FOX was doing that lame routine about 3 years ago when Caliendo started. I'm glad to know you can learn what ESPN tells you to say and then repeat it in front of a camera, but maybe you should think for yourself.

2. Cartoon Network
Don't get me wrong, I was really into the whole Goosebumps thing when I was young. They were great books, and while the show was kind of lame, it was pretty cool to see the books acted out in a manner that was kind of shitty. Anyway, why are you showing live action stuff now? I don't think that those are cartoons.

1. Fall Break
I think I'm maybe the only one that agrees with this, but why is it that a school that sees the whole population leave every weekend feels the need to give us a fall break? Everyone is going to go home anyway. You faught and faught to get us this break and it's pointless, just give us another 2 days for Thanksgiving and not have class that week.

Things That I Like This Week:

College Football
Night Of The Living Dead @ 2AM
Sleeping
30 Days Of Night
The Looming Halloween

WEEK 8 PICKS
9-5 last week, 56-47 on the year. Winners in bold.

Bears (3-4) v Detroit (4-2)

Steelers (4-2) v Bengals (2-4)

Titans (4-2) v Raiders (2-4)

Rams (0-7) v Browns (3-3)

Giants (5-2) v Dolphins (0-7)

Vikings (2-4) v Eagles (2-4)

Colts (6-0) v Panthers (4-2)

Jets (1-6) v Bills (2-4)

Chargers (3-3) v Texans (3-4)

Bucs (4-3) v Jags (4-2)

Pats (7-0) v Redskins (4-2)

Saints (2-4) v 49ers (2-4)

Broncos (3-3) v Packers (5-1) (MNF)

Week 7 and Homecoming

2007-10-19T10:14:00.000-05:00

gotta love the theme this year

I go to a small college right now as opposed to being like everyone else I graduated with and going to KU or KSU, more specifically, I go to Emporia State in Emporia, KS. It's a nice smaller town that gets moderate support from the community ranging from the businesses that bend over backwards for us to the businesses that go only as far as hanging a poster for the current play or current sports team schedules and then on the bottom rung which is the businesses who try to act like the college doesn't exist. This weekend is also Homecoming for us, and yet again, I'm failing to get excited for it. In past years we have been blessed with such horrible themes as "Oh Wow, A Luau" and "Dancin in the Street" which actually gave this year promise when I saw that the theme was "Old Time Black and Gold." To the uninitiated, this is a play off of the song "Old Time Rock and Roll" they just changed rock and roll with our school colors, get it? It's funny. Now, I'm not completely sure on what other schools may do to celebrate homecoming, but I feel like we get stuck with nothing but events that probably wouldn't even make it into a high school homecoming celebration. On the lineup this year, we have tricycle races, a night of shitty skits put on by the fraternities and sororities all finished up by the usual football game that I am sure we will end up losing. Ya know, the other departments always bitch about how noone shows up to the school events because they're out partying and such, but maybe if they put on events that were, oh maybe fun, then they might get a bolstered attendance. The non greek population of the school doesn't enjoy going to events where the school kisses ass to the greeks, so why would they bother going? It seems fairly common sense to me. The other thing that bothers me in the football team. How long do I have to go through school with teams that don't win? After I graduated high school, their team got really good and now contends for state every year, and now I'm at Emporia State where we have a fairly underachieving team who will probably kick ass after I graduate. I was at the game last weekend, like I am every weekend we have home games and I noticed something interesting about the difference between the two teams. Washburn is huge. They have some very large players on the team, whereas we have little guys who bulk up certain parts of their bodies...the arms. Is Emporia trying to make a point by playing smaller players on the team instead of recruiting some of the larger guys coming out of high school? Is this bound to pay off for us in the long run? Will we get a homecoming win this year? I doubt it, we'll probably be unable to execute on the same draw play and fail to try anything else. Just a couple of the billion things wrong with the school I guess, oh well, maybe they will all enjoy the RA's playing a game of tug of war at halftime...I won't get my hopes up.

WEEK 7 PICKS
47-42 on the year after a shitty week last week. I need to quit slacking.

Ravens v Bills

Lions v Bucs

Pats v Dolphins

Saints v Falcons - Streak time

Giants v 49ers

Redskins v Cards

Texans v Titans - No Vinsanity means no win

Bengals v Jets

Chiefs v Raiders

Cowboys v Vikings - I've got Purple Jesus fever

Bears v Eagles

Seahawks v Rams

Steelers v Broncos (SNF) - Can't go against my team

Jaguars v Colts (MNF) - It's bound to happen sooner or later

Enjoy the weekend, I know I'll have a blast working the whole thing.

Week 6 Picks and Shit

2007-10-11T14:20:00.000-05:00

i love double meanings, especially when they make fun of KU

As anyone who knows me will attest, I hate KU. Yes, I'm from Kansas, but I cannot stand Lawrence, KU, or anything that has any remote connection to the school...unless it's a friend and then I'm fairly tolerant. This usually gets the response of people asking me if I am a K-state fan instead, to which I must respond to with a resounding "NO" as well. I don't like any of the Kansas schools as far as college sports go, barring the exception that is Emporia State, and only because I go there. I never became a fan of college sports until my senior year of high school when I went to Alabama to visit my Grandma, and that was when I found out that they have a channel devoted to nothing but Crimson Tide sports. After watching that channel for 2 weeks straight, I knew pretty much everything about the football team and was pretty sure I had finally found a college team that I enjoyed. I liked the craziness of the fans, the prestige of the team even if the weren't winning it all every year, and best of all, it was a jumping on point in which they weren't doing well ensuring that it wouldn't be called a bandwagoning moment. So now, it's 5 years later and I've seen them do shitty, mediocre, and even good. It's given me another degree of fandom in the NFL as well, now I have former Bama players to root for, and hate as in the case of Derrick Thomas. I also know the basketball team too, which really says something for me as a fan because I really don't like basketball that much. But, back to the point, I hate KU. The worst part of it is when people I know assume that my hatred for KU is because I'm a K-state fan, as evidenced on Saturday when KU beast K-state at football. The game was close, but had been over for about an hour when I get a text message from a female friend of mine who will remain nameless, it says "take that, ROCK CHALK BABY!" Now, I do talk a lot of shit on KU, but for them to be so excited about beating nothing but cupcake opponents, and then a weak K-state side is ridiculous. Play real teams and go 5-0, I bet you'll go 0-5 and your coach will suffer a heart attack on the sideline. I heard from a friend of mine that he went in to a restaurant and Mangini came in to eat, it was a buffet and Mangini kept eating and eating and ate the restaurant out of food and they had to close forever. Actually, that was loosely from The Simpsons, but my friend did say that he ate about 3 appetizers and then somewhere around 2 meals and a few drinks...my guess is that he then went to McDonalds afterward. Mangini makes me take back every Jabba The Hutt joke I ever made about Charlie Weiss, and then transfer it all to Mangini. If I ever see KU play a "real" team this year, and by real I mean a team that isn't considered a cupcake, then I assure you that they will lose faster than you can say "every Chiefs QB ever has sucked, with exception of Joe Montana, Brodie Croyle and Len Dawson." It saddens me to know that I have so many friends who make the poor life decision of being a KU fan, but as long as they have their rock chalk, I'll still give them mine...Rock Chalk Gayhawk, Fuck KU!

DENVER BRONCOS: After last week, all I have to say is thank God they are on bye. I hope they can get their shit together after that pitiful performance to the Chargers. It felt like the Chargers just forgot about every other game and them prepared for nothing but Denver for the first 4 weeks of the season. Jesus Denver needs to do something.

WEEK 6 PICKS, HOME TEAM IN CAPS, WINNER IN BOLD
(41-35 on the year)
Rams v RAVENS - This is gonna be ugly, and I only pick STL because the Ravens D is that bad.

Redskins v PACKERS

Titans v BUCCANEERS

Bengals v CHIEFS - The Bengals don't need a defense to beat the Chiefs, just keep the Offense off the field with long, slow drives

Eagles v JETS - Crap shoot.

JAGUARS v Texans

BEARS v Vikings - Adrian Peterson, for the win.

BROWNS v Dolphins

CARDINALS v Panthers

Raiders v CHARGERS

Patriots v COWBOYS - For all that is good and holy I want both teams to somehow lose, but if I have to pick it's the lesser of two evils in the Pats.

SEAHAWKS v Saints

Giants v FALCONS - I cannot understand why this game is the Monday Night game, I feel like they need flex scheduling sooner rather than later. The same goes for the Sunday Night game. Excellent scheduling NFL, way to go.

ALCS AND NLCS PICKS, WINNERS IN BOLD
INDIANS over Boston in 5 - I hate Boston, but I also hate the Indians, so this isn't a bias pick. The Indians have been hot as of late, and I have a feeling Boston will choke.

ROCKIES over Arizona in 6 - Colorado has been so hot as of late, and despite the Diamondbacks having beat them the only time in about the past 20, I cannot see it happening more than twice.

Silly Trent Green, I Don't Pity You...Too Much

2007-10-08T00:03:00.000-05:00

Sucks It Had To Happen, But He Kinda Had It Coming

That was the scene Sunday when, for the second year in a row, Trent Green got carted off with a concussion after making a very, very stupid decision. In week one of last year, Trent Green was scrambling to make a first down when he got hit when making an attempt at a slide. Green was well withing the distance to make the first down and get out of bounds, but he made the idiotic choice to slide instead. Robert Geathers was demonized for that hit, despite being in the process of tackling well before Green attempted to slide, and also despite that he was essentially clipped into Green by his own wide-receiver, Eddie Kennison. Even the NFL came out and said that it was a clean hit, but as usual, the ignorant Kansas City Chiefs fans that I have the misfortune of being in the general vicinity of felt the need to still call it a cheap hit. Yesterday, Trent Green was making a block for his team on Travis Johnson, the only problem for this block was that it was at Johnson's knee. I don't care who the hell you think you are on a football field, YOU DO NOT GO FOR ANOTHER PLAYER'S KNEE! Instead of ending Johnson's season, and potentially career, Trent Green went down with another concussion and was carted off of the field, and in the aftermath, Johnson was penalized for taunting Green as he lay on the ground. The backlash against Johnson has been ridiculous for his taunting Green, yet, it doesn't bother me. Yeah, it sucks for Trent Green that he got taken out with another concussion, but at the same time, he shouldn't have made such a horrible block. To reiterate my point earlier, YOU DO NO GO FOR ANOTHER PLAYER'S KNEE! Trent Green is at a point in his career that he needs to be looking out for himself, that means he needs to quit putting himself in dangerous situations like this. If he can't bring himself to correctly block and not do it in a fashion that could ruin the career of the player that he is blocking, then Trent Green has no business blocking people at all. As far as I'm concerned, Travis Johnson was right in "taunting" Trent Green as he lay on the field. How would it have looked the other way around if Green laying the block, and his helmet, into Johnson's knee had left Johnson on the ground unable to continue playing, possibly ending his career because Green couldn't put a legit block on him? The worst part of all of this is that thanks to ESPN, I am going to have to listen to nothing this week but people talking about how horrible a person Travis Johnson is because he taunted Green while he was on the ground, yet noone will point out that Green was easily the player in the wrong with the block that he tried to lay on Johnson. It's horrible to say, but I really do hope that this time Trent sees that he isn't the player he was and finally decides to hang it up and be done, before he goes back out there and messes himself up even more, or even worse, messes someone else up bad enough that they cannot continues to make their living.

"My knee ain't never hurt like it hurt today. If you want to hit me, hit me in my head, hit me in my chest, don't hit me in my knee. I'm trying to eat just like everybody else. So, to hit me like that, that showed me what type of man he was." - Travis Johnson

Week 5 Picks: So far, I'm 8-5 this week. San Francisco, Detroit, Denver, Tampa Bay and Green Bay couldn't get it done for me.

MLB Playoffs: So far, I'm right on my picks. Now I just need those damned Yankees to just quit and lose.

Monday Night Football Pick: Dallas. I wish they would lose to Buffalo, but it's not going to happen. It kind of says something when, on the Monday Night Previews, they tout Tony Romo and the Cowboys...and then they are left with noone to tout for the Bills but Marshawn Lynch.

Thanks to Google Images for the picture and KSK for the quote

So I've Noticed I Don't Do Much But Make Picks...

2007-10-04T23:24:00.000-05:00

Christmas Tree Says Don't Do Drugs

Christmas is about 2 months away, which means time to start making that wonderful list of things I desire that most people call a Christmas List. Now, I know that some families probably don't start doing this stuff until November, but in my family we live by a simple rule, "show up late to everything, and do Christmas Lists 2 months early" the way it has been since I was born. The one thing that I hate about these lists is that video games are so hard to do, half the games I will put on here probably aren't out yet, so I don't know how good they are. Another thing, this list would have about 5 more items on it, but I've hit the point with extended family where I don't get anything anymore. Oh well, life goes on, and I can't wait to screw over my brother and sister's kids like that.

Under .500 Christmas 1

Jay Cutler Denver Jersey: Jay is, as a friend would say, Da Fewtcha (sound it out), so why not get the official replica jersey of such person? Sure, there is the potential that he could go all Brian Griese, Bubby Brister, Gus Frerotte, and Jake Plummer on us and suck in the end, but that is a risk I am willing to take.

Harry Potter 1-7 Box Set: I don't care what anyone says, Harry Potter is awesome. Granted, none of the books I actually own thanks to my sister, but I figure it's time to shell out.

Dragonball Z Seasons 1 and 2: This show was so bad ass when I was a youngin, and now that it is uncut on DVD, it is a lot cooler. I don't care how nerdy it is.

Blue Dragon: The first of my video game choices for the holiday season. This game has been out since August, but why buy it when I can get it for free?

WWE Raw Vs. Smackdown 2008: After some of my posts, are you really surprised by this? New rosters, new modes, the ability to put my own music in for entrances and CM Punk make this well worthwhile.

Assassin's Creed: XBOX360 game number 3 on the list. Granted, it isn't out until November, I am hoping, praying and otherwise wishing it doesn't suck. It looks so completely bad ass though, that I don't think it will suck.

Grindhouse Special Edition: I know that it hasn't been announced at all, but I am hoping so badly that they release this. I don't want to buy them separate, I want them in all their 4 hour glory. I sat through it that long in theaters for a reason.

A Denver Broncos Super Bowl: It's worth a shot.

Peyton Manning Injured: Once again, it's worth a shot, and I think a lot of other NFL players wouldn't mind it either.

World Peace: This one is for the little kiddies, the environment, and the wee turtles. Who will save the wee turtles?

On To The Week 5 Picks:

Jac @ KC - If they can beat denver
CLE @ NE
CAR @ NO
NYJ @ NYG - Welcome to "The Suck"
MIA @ HOU
SEA @ PIT - I'd say that Seattle would avenge the Super Bowl loss, but it's the regular season
DET @ WAS - Win number whatever, I think 4 of 10
ATL @ TEN
ARI @ STL
TB @ IND - Another week of picking against them, please come true.
SD @ DEN - For everything good and holy in the world.
BAL @ SF
CHI @ GB

And Now Because I Can, and I'm Only 3 Days Late...

Rockies over Phillies

Bo Sox over Angels

Arizona over Cubbies

Indians over Yankees - If I have to see Boston/New York again I'll cry.

And now I leave you with Klassic Krusty...Please go commit Regicide now.

Thanks Google Images...again.

And We're Back...

2007-09-27T16:25:00.000-05:00

Mother of God You're Fun

Wow, Halo 3 is amazing. That's why this is so late, but it was well worth it. Now if only I can get my 360 back and quit having to use my residents.

7-9 after a horrible, horrible last week. 27-21 for the year, winners in bold.

Houston (2-1, 1-0 away)
Atlanta (0-3, 0-1 home)
Begin regretting trading Schaub right about now

Baltimore (2-1, 0-1 away)
Cleveland (1-2, 1-1 home)

Chicago (1-2, 0-1 away)
Detroit (2-1, 1-0 home)
I honestly think Sexy Rexy is better than Griese, I'm a Denver fan, I know

Green Bay (3-0, 1-0 away)
Minnesota (1-2, 1-0 home)

Tampa Bay (2-1, 0-1 away)
Carolina (2-1, 0-1 home)
David Carr redemption time

Pittsburgh (3-0, 1-0 away)
Arizona (1-2, 1-0 home)

Philadelphia (1-2, 0-1 away)
New York Giants (1-2, 0-1 home)

New York Jets (1-2, 0-1 away)
Buffalo (0-3, 0-1 home)

St. Louis (0-3, 0-1 away)
Dallas (3-0, 1-0 home)

Oakland (1-2, 0-1 away)
Miami (0-3, 0-1 home)

Seattle (2-1, 0-1 away)
San Francisco (2-1, 1-0 home)

Denver (2-1, 1-0 away)
Indianapolis (3-0, 1-0 home)
Upset of the week

Kansas City (1-2, 0-2 away)
San Diego (1-2, 1-0 home)
The Chargers are THAT BAD

New England (3-0, 1-0 away)
Cincinnati (1-2, 1-0 home)

Thanks to Google Images...again, as well as my good commie friend Ril Phobles

It's Been A Long Time Coming...

2007-09-19T00:54:00.000-05:00

It's so b-e-a-utiful

SWEET HOLY JESUS, IT'S FINALLY HAPPENING!!!!!!

Read it and weep, the Kansas City Royals are not going to lose 100 games this year! For the first time since 2003, my junior year of high school for those keeping score at home, the Royals are going to finish with under 100 losses. Now I know that to most teams this is nothing to be proud of, but for a Royals fan this is amazing. For the past three years I have sat and watched Allard Baird, Buddy Bell and David Glass destroy the team that was once one of the greatest in the bigs. Fast forward to know and we have Baird replaced by a competent GM, Buddy leaving at the end of the season, and David Glass being forced into putting up a little cash for the team. Gone are the days of seeing our talent traded away, no more will we see another instance like Beltran being traded away to keep a no talent bum like Mike Sweeney. The best part of all of this is the strong upside with the team, considering that the bulk of the frame being built for the team is no older than 26, that means we can have the guys that are building the base for a long time...pending David Glass actually sticks to his word. It's amazing to me, the potential that I will get to see the Royals post a winning season for the seventh time in my 21 year lifespan. It's downright exciting to know that in 3 years, mark my words, the Royals will be contending for the AL Central title and then the World Series in 5...let's see the Red Sox come up with that kind of consistency.

NFL Time:
Currently I am 20-12 on my weekly picks for the seasons games. For those who are not talented in the ways of math, that means I am 10-6 again. Here's hoping that I can keep up a winning streak all year long.

Miami @ NYJ

SD @ GB

SF @ Pit

Buffalo @ NE

Min @ KC - The Croyle era nears

Det @ Philly - Here comes 3 out of 10

STL @ TB

Arizona @ Bal

Indy @ Houston - Schaub keeps the dream alive

Jac @ Den

Cleveland @ Oakland - Another week without Brady

Cinnci @ Sea

Carolina @ ATL - Leftwich by week 6

NYG @ Was

Dal @ Chi

Ten @ NO

Credit to Wikipedia, Google Images, and NFL.com

Where Do We Draw The Line?

2007-09-14T10:11:00.000-05:00

Gotta Love The Missing Tooth...Fuckin Canada

As a wrestling fan, on June 25th 2007, my world was rocked. That was the day that Chris Benoit murdered his family and then hung himself, effectively ending the life and career of one of the most brilliant performers to ever step into a professional wrestling ring and his family. While everywhere else, you may hear the witch hunt that is going on over steroids in the business and how some 20 WWE "superstars" have been suspended over being linked to the online pharmaceuticals, I'm going to go a different route. Not only because I realize that not every wrestler is on steroids, but moreso because there is a different discussion I want to dive into here, one that is very controvesial. In the next few months, the decisions are going to be made for who should be inducted into the WWE Hall of Fame, and in what may be a shock to some of you, I want Chris Benoit to be inducted. Don't get me wrong, what Chris Benoit did to his family and self are horrible, heinous acts, but let us remember one thing, there is Chris Benoit the person and Chris Benoit the performer. We all know what he did outside of the ring, so I am not planning to discuss that any further, I prefer to focus on his in ring acclaims. Plus, hey, O.J killed people and he's in the NFL Hall of Fame.

Since 1985, Chris Benoit has been a champion 32 times for seven different promotions. He is a Royal Rumble winner, entering at the number 1 spot, and the twelfth Triple Crown champion meaning that he has held the major title (i.e. World Heavyweight Championship), the tag titles and the second tier title (i.e. the Intercontinental or US Championships) and distinguishes himself among such names as Pedro Morales, Bret Hart, Shawn Michaels and Ric Flair. Alongside those, he has been given other awards from The Wrestling Observer Newsletter for "Best Feud of the Year" for his feud in 2004 with Shawn Michaels and Triple H, "Most Underrated Wrestler" in 1998, "Most Outstanding Wrestler" in 2000, "Best Technical Wrestler" in 1994 and 2004 as well as "Best Brawler" and "Most Outstanding Wrestler" in 2004. In 2004, PWI awarded him "Feud of the Year", "Match of the Year", Wrestler of the Year", and ranked him #1 out of the top 500 singles wrestlers. Alongside all of the awards and championships, there is one thing about Chris Benoit that sets him above many of the other wrestlers in the world, he was one of the 4 Horseman. Considered an honor in the world of pro-wrestling, the 4 Horseman stable is one of the most popular factions ever created, with members ranging from Ric Flair and Arn Anderson to Chris Benoit and Dean Malenko.

So there you have it, my case for why Chris Benoit the character should be inducted into the WWE Hall of Fame. I know it won't happen, not this year, not the year after, probably never. Though, if it does, I do hope that whoever inducts him does make sure to press the issue that what Chris Benoit the person did is a horrible and despicable thing to do and that they are inducting Chris Benoit the character. How the mighty fall.

NFL WEEK 2 PICKS (winners in bold):

Indy @ Tenn

GB @ NYG

Cinn @ Cle

Hou @ Car

NO @ TB

Buf @ Pit

Atl @ Jac

SF @ STL

Min @ Det

Sea @ Ari

Dal @ Mia

KC @ Chi

NYJ @ Bal - See how they do when their signals aren't being stolen

Oak @ Den

SD @ NE - They don't need to steal the Norv's signals

Was @ Phi

I am currently 10-6 on picks this year. Here's hoping for more success.

Thanks to Google Images for providing me with yet another great picture.

Week 1...Sort Of

2007-09-10T10:34:00.000-05:00

So I know there are 2 games left to be played tonight, but I thought I would give a little update on my picks for week 1.

Saints v. Colts
I picked the Saints, what a mistake

Philly v. Green Bay
Green Bay won, I was wrong again

Atlanta v. Minnesota
Minnesota killed them, I failed again

Miami v. Washington
Damn, I'm doing as good as ESPN...wrong again

New England v. NYJ
I finally got one right

Tennessee v. Jacksonville
2 in a row

Denver v. Buffalo
3 in a row thanks to Mr. Elam

Pittv. Cleveland v. Brady Quinn's Gayness
I threw this one

Carolina v. ST. Louis
4 correct so far

KC v. Houston
I said they would be that bad

TB v. Seattle
Dull as hell, but I was right

Chicago v. San Diego
Damn, just damn

Detroit v. Oakland
1 down, 9 to go Mr. Kitna

NYG v. Dallas
I win again

So i am 8-6 on this week...so far. Monday Night doubleheader tonight, it's Baltimore and Cinncinatti, then Arizone and San Fran later, both on the WWL.

In other news, my beloved Royals are still out of last place and one win away from not losing 100 games this year. No other team in the league will be able to understand how exciting this is, this is the first time since my junior year of high school that the Royals are out of last place legitimately. I think I might go light a trash can on fire in celebration...

It's not a trash can, but LA knows how to get it done.

My 6 Month National Nightmare Is Over...

2007-09-06T12:21:00.000-05:00

Tonight the new football season gets underway. it's been a long road to get here, full of basketball, baseball, soccer, and shitty variants like the AFL, AFL2, and World Cup of American Football, but tonight is the night. So, without further ado, these are my picks for Week 1, winners in bold.

Saints v. Colts
Wishing, hoping and praying that the Saints win...and maybe even take Manning out for the year. If they don't fall to the Super Bowl hangover, I just might not make it the whole season.

Philly v. Green Bay

Hotlanta v. Minnesota
The Joey Harrington redemption party starts against the purple guys.

Miami v. Washington
Barring Trent Green getting knocked loopy again, I see them winning.

New England v. NYJ
For the sake of my fantasy teams.

Ten-I-See v. Jacksonville

Denver v. Buffalo
With Travis Henry having his 9 children in orbit around his body, he will be unstoppable.

Pitt v. Cleveland v. Brady Quinn's Gayness
Your haircut doesn't fool me.

Carolina v. St. Louis

KC v. Houston
The Chiefs will be that bad.

TB v. Seattle

Chicago v. San Diego
The Bears have to be pissed about that Madden commercial...and now we get to see how it would really go down.

Detroit v. Oakland
Win 1 of 10 coming up. Sorry Josh McCown.

NYG v. Dallas

Baltimore v. Cinnci

Arizona v. San Francisco

So there you have it, my picks for week 1. If I'm right, I'm right. If I'm wrong, then fuck you.

I Work With A Communist...

2007-09-05T10:16:00.000-05:00

Communist?

Submitted for your approval, I present to you a co-worker of mine. For sake of his anonymity, let us call him Phil R. No, that is way too obvious, how about P. Robles. Oh fuck it, he is now going to be referred to as Ril Phobles. Anyway, Ril Phobles is somthing I like to call a communist. Yes, you heard me correctly, a communist. Now, you may be asking yourself one of three questions, who is this, why am i here, and why do i care? Well, I cannot answer those questions for you, tough shit. Also, you may potentially be wondering how it is that I know he is a communist, and for that, my answer is three fold.

Reason Ril is a Communist #1:

He likes the Boston Red Six. Now, you may be wondering what rationale I have for that making someone a communist. Simply put, there is no rationale for it. I just don't like the Bo Sox, nor do I like Bill Simmons who is a Bo Sox fan, and I bet Marx was a Bo Sox fan too. Sure, it was cute and all when they finally won the world series, congradu-fuckin-lations, get over it. Sure, it is all fun and games with their japanese pitcher, whoopedy doo. Fuckin communist Red Sox.

Reason Ril is a Communist #2:

He thinks that George Bush is only a great president. We all know that isn't true, everyone and their dog knows he is the greatest ever. Only a communist would think he was just great, an unpatriotic, anti-american, potentially anti-semetic, terrorist, communist bastard. Yeah, I said it. Ril also likes French Fries, not Freedom fries and he also eats Sour Kraut and not Freedom Cabbage. I bet he even kicks puppies long distances for fun too.

Reason Ril is a Commie Son Of A Bitch #3:

He likes to run the dollar defense on Madden. Now, don't get me wrong, I'm not the kind of guy that is going to be dumb enough to play as the Bears on Madden 08 against the Ravens and be so pissed about him running the same defense on me that I go and write a malicious blog where i make an accusation that he is a communist. I hold myself to a higher stanbdard than that. When it comes to defense, I generally stick with the 4-3, 3-4, nickel, 46 and on occasion the quarter. Most people do too, but not Ril, he has to try and be sneaky and pull a defense I am pretty sure I never heard of until yesterday (edit#1: I actually am pretty sure my little league team ran this defense now that I think of it.).

There you have it, Communist or just another guy I know? Only time will tell.

(edit #2: I did beat Ril 85-10 on NCAA, and that was my first Madden 08 loss to Ril.)

Madden 08, You Are A Cruel Mistress

2007-08-28T12:18:00.000-05:00

Dear EA-
I want to apologize to you. I don't do this because you were right, I do this because it is the right thing to do. Before Madden 08 came out, you said that the AI in the game would be improved as opposed to previous years and I scoffed. After two years of being told that and seeing games in which I would dominate for four quarters and win games 77-0, I put in Madden 08 and lost. What is worst of all about it is that I lost on All-Pro, not even All-Madden, and I shudder to think what the result would have been if I had played it on All-Madden. I was not a believer in you, I cried foul at everything good that was being said about the game and the improvements and showed such little faith as to say I would wait until I saw other people playing before I would buy it. I am sorry for the heresy, I am sorry for being a skeptic, I only wish that you could forgive me as I will forgive you for the few problems with the game. Now, I'm not one of those obsessive college students who do nothing but play Madden all day, but why did you feel the need to make my players fumble the ball all the time? LaDainian Tomlinson even fumbles and you good folks at EA have such a hard on for him, how would that make him feel? You're right, he probably wouldn't care at all as he sleeps on his piles and piles of money surrounded by beautiful women every night. I'm also not one of those college kids that will hate a player for screwing them over in a game of Madden, but dammit Marshawn Lynch, I can't believe that they called pass interference on Al Wilson for laying your rookie ass out on play action. I hope you break your tibia this year. I guess that what I am trying to say is thank you. Thank you EA Sports for finally giving me a challenge with Madden, for finally making me think twice before I throw the ball up to a receiver getting triple covered for now I know that he probably won't come down with it and the defense will make some sort of a bobbled circus catch and run it back for a touchdown but not before laying out Jay Cutler and injuring him for the season leaving me with Patrick fucking Ramsey for my quarterback the rest of the season. Fuckers.

Sincerely,
King of the Herculoids

Son of a Bitch

thanks to http://www.seahawkshuddle.com/ by way of google images for the picture

Another Under .500 Top 10

2007-07-15T03:15:00.000-05:00

Simply put, I hate the state of Missouri. Growing up in Kansas, among other things, I always found it a screwjob that the teams were in Missouri. With the tickets having first priority for the residents of Jackson County, it was always a screwjob to go to the games and see nothing but Kansas license plates with the little JO in the corner always there and paying to go and supporting the teams, but the ingrates from Missouri getting the first dibs on tickets. Granted, I could care less about the Chiefs (unless they're playing the Broncos), but what if the Royals made the playoffs? It would be all of the people in Jackson County getting the first crack at tickets, when all season long it was the Kansans going and supporting the team. I thought I was done with all of that when I graduated high school, until this summer when I started working in Missouri. That said, I am going to chronicle the top 10 of the other reasons why I hate the state of Missouri. So without further ado...

Why I Hate Missouri, Top 10 Style:

10. The St. Louis Arch
Looking back at the other large architectural behemoths in our country, such as the Statue of Liberty, The Empire State Building, Brooklyn Bridge, The Golden Gate Bridge, and every monument in D.C., I see no reason for the Arch. It's a big memorial for Jefferson and his dealings in the Louisiana Purchase, the first civil government west of the Mississippi, and Dred Scott. So why not run this down, you have a celebration of a purchase that gave us a lot of land...I thought we already had one in D.C., but I could be wrong. The first civil government west of the Mississippi, nice try Missouri, but if you didn't do it one of the other states would have. Finally, the Dred Scott case. Just like Missouri, celebrating a case in which a slave was denied freedom despite his living in free states. Wow, way to go slavery loving Missouri.

Sorry Dred, Welcome To Missouri!

9. ~~The Mormon War~~ Wars With Everyone Around Them
I'm not Mormon, but at the same time, I am not against any religion. If people want to believe something, then they can believe whatever it is that they want. After being granted statehood in 1821, Missouri was settled by Southerner and Mormons who came from the north, soon it turned into a war in 1839 the Mormons were expelled. Not only that, but they got into border disputes with Iowa that resulted in both states calling up militias to the borders. Throw that in with all of their issues with Kansas, which will be covered later, and you've got a real winner there.

8. The Earnings Tax
In Missouri, they have an earnings tax in which you have to pay if you work in the state. It's a nice money maker for when all fo the professional sports players come in to play at Arrowhead of Kauffman and they get taxed from their millions. What I don't like is getting my paycheck every two weeks to be docked more money because I have the grave misfortune of having to drive across the state line to work in Missouri, it's bogus and should be abolished as soon as possible.

7. Low Per Capita Income
According to the 2003 Bureau of Economic Analysis, Missouri was ranked 27th. 27th out of 50. Sad and ridiculous, oh wait, that is because all of the players on your sports teams live in Kansas.

6. They Tried To Interfere With The Settling Of Kansas
Almost instantly after Kansas was declared a territory by the Kansas-Nebraska Act, Missouri sent in settlers to try and interfere in the process because they wanted Kansas to be a slave state. Granted, the northern states had people come in as well, this isn't about them, and yes, they did fight eachother. This time was what we like to call Bleeding Kansas, way to go Missouri...bring your hostility and violence over the borders.

5. Missouri Was A Slave State
Slave State, enough said. And not only that, they tried to promote it. Lucky for them they never really got completely on the secession bandwagon and the Union was able to place a pro-Union government that proceeded to beat the pro-Confederate side of Missouri into retreat to Arkansas.

4. Kurt Warner
Yeah, I know that he is in Arizona with the Cardinals now. Sadly, it was you Missouri that unleashed the hell upon us that was Kurt Warner and his wife. I still shudder to think of either of them, one a fluke quarterback, the other just a fluke. I feel nightmares coming on now.

3. The Missouri License Plate
I thought Kansas was pretty bad as far as license plates go, but damn. This is pretty horrible right here...I mean really, what is the deal with the hideous colors?

God That is ugly

2. The People Who Go To The Pool I Work At
Really now, I still cannot grasp this at all. How can you repeatedly see signs that say "cash only" and still come up and ask if we take plastic? How can you respond to us with a "yes" when we ask it you're ready to order and then come up and not know what you want? How can you not figure out that when our sign says that cheese is 75 cents, it means that is how much it costs? Is Missouri at some sort of genetic disadvantage? Really? I don't get it.

1. Missouri Drivers
I know that everyone thinks that the drivers in the state near them are horrible, or that drivers from other states are bad, but really guys, Missouri is God awful. Don't get me wrong, there are a few who are a credit to their state as far as driving goes, but overall, a majority of the residents of that state suck at driving. I know I'm not perfect when it comes to driving, but geeze these people are bad. I would rather be stuck on the road with old people than on the road with Missouri drivers.

So there you have it, ten of the reasons why I hate the state of Missouri. Granted, there are some who are credits to the state and represent it well in nearly every aspect of life, but as a whole the state sucks. Yes, I do know that I am probably biased because of the inter-state rivalry that is shared because I was born and raised in Kansas, but I do my best to maintain an open mind about everything. So, in closing I will leave you with this quote and my thanks to the Wiki for giving me a picture.

"While others throughout the North were shocked and outraged by the firing on Fort Sumter on April 12, 1861, Kansans reacted differently. Many in the new state were elated at the prospects of a war with the South, or more specifically, many in Kansas relished the opportunity to punish their one and only neighbor, Missouri. --excerpt from "Black Flag" by Thomas Goodrich

Who's Now?

2007-07-10T00:22:00.000-05:00

ESPN is a cruel mistress, simple as that. ESPN was great a little over a decade ago, then they got bought by the mouse in 1995. Ever since, ESPN has gone downhill in a horrible crashing and burning fashion and it irritates me to no end. Among my major dislikes with ESPN, some of the notables are as follows...Stuart Scott, Stuart Scott's Eye, Skip Bayless, anything Chris Berman that does not pertain to leather, the forcing of Nascar upon the masses, human interest stories on Sportscenter, anything involving the Make A Wish foundation, 75% of the Sportscenter anchors, Keyshawn Johnson, Stephen A. Smith, and the most recent piece of garbage, the Who's Now bracket. If this comes off more as a soccer fan complaining, I am sorry.

Starting in July, ESPN got the idea to put together a bracket called Who's Now. The point of said bracket is to try and determine who the ultimate god of sports is...or something to that effect, through the analysis of their "on field success and off field buzz" whatever the hell that means. Split into four brackets bearing the names of legendary athletes, we get match ups such as Tiger Woods and Matt Leinart, Peyton Manning and Amanda Beard, Tom Brady and David Ortiz, Ronaldinho and Kobe, and Beckham and LaDainian. Before I get into my two major issues with this, I want to run down some of these match ups that they have.

Tiger Woods and Matt Leinart:
Tiger Woods is the number 1 ranked golfer in the world, he's married to a model and they recently had a child. For every win he has (of which there are many), Tiger gets paid in the millions. Not only that, he also has millions of dollars in endorsements. Matt Leinart plays for a shitty team, I haven't seen him in a commercial where he is endorsing anything since the draft in 06, and he's got a kid with a college basketball player (despite her hotness), I don't know about you, but I think this is a little ridiculous to even consider. They might as well just give Tiger a bye because there is no way anyone in their right mind would pick Leinart.

Peyton Manning and Amanda Beard:
Payton got the Super Bowl finally, after choking year in and year out for the previous 6 or 7 years, and he makes annoying commercials. I'm a little biased, but there is not a single athlete I hate more than Peyton Manning. We get it, your dad played in the NFL and your brother does too...your commercials and your family still don't make you less of a douche. On the contrary, Amanda Beard is an olympic swimmer. That means she has competed with the best in the world and won...not to mention she did it a lot of it when she was 16. She is also hot, I don't care how much air brushing was involved, she was hot in the Playboy issue and she is also a swimmer so that means she has a very nice body and can probably go for hours on end. I am ok with that, so she wins.

Ronaldinho and Kobe:
This is where ESPN pisses me off. You want to get Kobe to advance, but you know it won't happen in an ideal way, so you put him up against an athlete who should, by all logic win, but won't because it is soccer and this is America. Being such, only about 30% of the population are enlightened enough to realize the stupidity of choosing Kobe. Ronaldinho has been player of the year in the world's game, won the world cup, plays for one of the top teams in the world, plays against some of the best athletes in the world, is known worldwide in a better light than Kobe, and is one of the poster boys for soccer. Now, conversely, Kobe is essentially the same for the NBA, there is only one difference. THE WORLD LIKES SOCCER BETTER THAN BASKETBALL.

Beckham and LaDainian:
Don't get me wrong here, I like LT. But LT hasn't done shit, sure he has the records, but how many Super Bowls has he won? David Beckham has won championship after championship throughout his career, he is THE poster boy above everyone else when it comes to soccer, he has played in 3 World Cups and scored, and he has made a resurgance enough in his career to be brought back to the two teams he was exiled from, Real Madrid and Englands National Team. He is also coming to America in about 3 days to play in the MLS for a contract that with endorsements will be worth hundreds of thousands of dollars. The guy is complete tabloid fodder everywhere in the world and will be here when he arrives, but, once again ESPN wanted to try and give someone they want to push a free pass. As such, Beckham, despite being one of the few people in here who could justifiably win, loses because that is the way the 70% of America view soccer.

First, if ESPN wanted to ignore the world stage, which apparently they do, they shouldn't have included the athletes who are available on the world stage like Shaun White, Amanda Beard, Ronaldinho, Beckham, etc. If so, they need to take that into account and modify the seeding they used because in all reality, Beckham should be higher than a 7 seed and Ronaldinho higher than a 6 seed because of the criteria used.

Second, if ESPN wants to have any kind of credibility they need to have a different panel for the discussion on Sportscenter. Keyshawn Johnson, Mike Wilbon, and Kirk Herbstreit have to be the biggest joke of a panel I have seen since American Idol. Wilbon is the ultimate hater of anything worldwide, Herbstreit is just a jackass, and Keyshawn Johnson is the biggest joke of an analyst I have ever seen and the only reason he has a job now is because they needed a new obnoxious former NFL player to replace Michael Irvin. I would almost rather have Skip Bayless involved than either of these three and I utterly despise Skip.

Maybe, one of these days ESPN can bounce back from their wayward path and become the great channel they once were when I was in elementary school and I would watch with my brother every morning. Until then, I guess there's always Fox Sports and Deadspin.

More Than Meets The Eye...Top Ten

2007-07-02T21:14:00.001-05:00

In honor of the new transformers movie coming out today/tomorrow, I'm going to do a top ten list of my favorites. Take note that these are my personal favorites, so if you don't agree...too bad, feel free to argue with me in a comment or something. Also, these are only coming from the original Transformers (G1), the original 1986 movie, Beast Machines and Beast Wars...because those were all I watched. So without further ado...

10. Optimal Optimus (Beast Wars)
Season 3 of Beast Wars brought on changes, one of the biggest was another transformation for Optimus Primal, no longer was he the regular gorilla or even the transmetal gorilla with the surfboard, no, he merged with the spark of the original Optimus Prime and became Optimal Optimus. Far superior to everyone else, he could become a robot, a gorilla, an ATV, and a jet...tough break to the ones that didn't get changed because everything else was unsanitary. Sadly, he kind of was a puss in Beast Machines and even though I didn't watch it a lot, I know that much so he loses points and is only number 10.

9. Bumblebee (G1/Movie 1986/Movie 2007)
I had the original Bumblebee toy...nuff said. Actually, Bumblebee was one of the less obnoxious ones from the original cartoon, and consequently, the movie...Grimlock I am looking in your direction. He was also a VW Bug, which despite being outdated and kinda gay now, was cool way back in the 80's when it first happened.

8. Megatron (Beast Wars)
Megatron in Beast Wars was a dinosaur, then a transmetal dinosaur, and then he became a dragon. He was a complete nutjob, had an overusing love of the word yes, was threatened with mutiny by his troops, and followed suit with Optimus and took the spark of the original Megatron, what's not to love? I'd give him a higher ranking, but he's also not the original, so he doesn't get much more than this.

7. Inferno (Beast Wars)
Inferno was one of the many in the show Beast Wars that came from the stasis pods that were jettisoned from the Maximal spaceship as they were crashing onto Earth. The funny thing about Inferno is that he is an ant, and he maintains the ant mentality by calling Megatron his queen. I'm sorry but that is funny right there, and not only that, but he gets dumber every season. He looked a lot cooler than he should have too, for as worthless as he managed to be for most of the show.

6. Perceptor (G1, Movie 1986)
Perceptor was actually pretty useless. I never saw him really do anything because he was more or less a scientist, so he was always doing gay science stuff instead of fighting. He was in the movie too, but was pretty useless there too. The only reason he is on the list is because of my enjoyment in what his alternate mode was, a microscope. Take it for what it is.

5. Megatron/Galvatron (G1, Movie 1986, Movie 2007)
The leader of the decepticons, Megatron was easily one of my favorites. He was a gun, an alien gun and an alien spaceship in his alternate modes and was voiced by Frank Welker, Leonard Nimoy, and to a lesser extent Hugo Weaving. He got his ass handed to him by Optimus Prime in the movie and was left for dead by the opportunistic Starscream until he got revived by Unicron who had enslaved him until the end of the movie.

4. Optimus Prime (G1, Movie 1986, Movie 2007)
Optimus is what I like to call awesome. He was a semi-truck, I had his toy, and he was the leader. Made all the other leaders of cartoon/action figure teams look like punk bitches...Duke I am looking in your direction. Despite dying in the 1986 movie, he was around for more or less everything and actually got brought back to the cartoon despite his death. He was voiced by Peter Cullen in the cartoon and now both movies as he was brought in to voice Prime in the new movie. Despite not having the combined sparks of both he and Optimus Primal, he is still so much better.

3. Unicron (Movie 1986)
A planet that is a transformer. I'm sorry, but if that is not bad ass then I do not know what is. He was the bad guy in the 1986 movie, he was a planet and a giant robot, and he brought Megatron back to become Galvatron, he also pisses excellence...as far as robots are able to piss. Not only was he all this, but he was voiced by Orson Welles. Yes, Orson fucking Welles. Holy shit he is great.

2. Starscream (G1, Movie 1986, Movie 2007, Beast Wars)
Starscream is my favorite of all the original characters. Teamed with Megatron, he provided the second half to the Decepticons that gave them the craziest leaders in all of Transformers. Not only that, he was also featured in Beast Wars on multiple occasions, has a large role in the new movie, died (but was still great) in the 1986 movie, and best of all is immortal. In Beast Wars, it was revealed that his spark was indestructible...just adding to his badass quotient.

1. Dinobot (Beast Wars)
Dinobot was originally Megatrons second in command in the Beast Wars until he was ousted from the team for challenging Megatron in which he ended up with the Maximals throughout. Dinobot was the ultimate bad ass of Beast Wars because he was the warrior, he fought until there was nothing else. Though not immune from some treachery, he joined up with the Predacons at one point in an attempt to stop Megatron from achieving his goals with the golden discs. He would meet his end shortly after while fighting all of the Predacons in an attempt to stop them from destroying the future of humanity. That episode is my favorite of the series, and the same is felt among many fans of the show. Dinobot was even cloned by Megatron and brought back as a Predacon and used to fight the Maximals until the end of the series when he came to realize who he was and he turned on Megatron again.

So there you have it, my favorite transformers. It's my list, I got the pictures from the Wiki (like i do every picture on here), and if you don't agree with it...feel free to say so in the comments.

The Canadian Crippler

2007-06-30T11:47:00.000-05:00

As I'm sure that it does for everyone right now, I really don't know what to think at this point in time when I look at the picture of Chris Benoit. As a fan, I watched as he was a member of the 4 Horseman, when he resisted and fought the nWo, when he had his match with Bret Hart at Kemper as a memorial to Owen Hart (one of my top 10 favorite matches), when he finally won the WCW Championship in their last ditch effort to keep him from leaving the company, when he showed up on RAW with Malenko, Eddie and the rest, his many close calls at winning the WWF/E championship, the Royal Rumble win, and the culmination of everything with his win at Wrestlemania XX and the subsequent title reign. Through the wonders of DVD I've been able to go back and watch his ECW days as well, and through a series of connections with my Mom's company, I also got to meet him my senior year of high school. Chris Benoit was one of the greatest entertainers in the business, and his death has truly saddened me.

After nearly a week, after countless developments in the whole ordeal, and after the complete disacknowledgement of Benoit by the WWE, I still don't know how to respond to any of this. What he did was despicable, it's a real tragedy and inexcuseable on every level. The legacy of Chris Benoit is tarnished irreparably, and barring everything the investigators are saying being wrong, there is no way it can ever be recovered. Over the course of this week I've covered nearly every conceiveable emotion on subject, sadness, anger, disappointment, shame, none of it seems to make sense.

That is where the problem comes in to play, on the one hand, Chris Benoit was a character on a television show. At that, he was portrayed as a bad ass, a tough guy that was one of the best and respected as such. He was a legend and a future Hall of Famer with the WWE, and had just been switched to another roster to work as a player/coach of sorts in an effort to help develop new talent for the next generation. On the other hand, Chris Benoit is now a murderer, a possible roider, and overall just a horrible human being. How do we view him with his two different persons? Are we ok to view him as the great that he was in the ring, despite his overwhelming character flaws and issues that stand to destroy the name he made for himself in his profession? I guess this is kind of similar to OJ Simpsons in the effect of, OJ was great as a football player which was his profession, but lets face it, he did it. So are we supposed to now ignore what he did as a football player in response to what he did off the field? Is it wrong for us to still give credit for what Benoit was as an athlete/entertainer despite what he did outside the ring? Only time will tell how this will all play out. It's about seven months away from when they will begin to announce the class for the 2008 WWE Hall fo Fame, should Benoit be considered?

Think about it.

Apocalypto Means A New Beginning

2007-06-30T00:34:00.000-05:00

Or at least that is what Mel Gibson tells me when I see the commercial for his movie, and despite all his craziness, I believe him. That, my friends, is why I decided to kill off my old blog that I wrote on maybe once and bring you this blog, which I will still probably only write on once.

So without further ado, this is a mission statement of sorts for what I plan to do here...

It's been a boring summer, and I find myself with very little to do while I am biding my time going back to Emporia, Kansas for my senior year at ESU. So, being like every normal college student who is doing normal things, I decided to try my hand at writing. So here is what I will and will not talk about in a handy list format.

THINGS I WILL TALK ABOUT:

Football
Baseball
Basketball
Soccer
Pro Wrestling
Television
Movies
Music
Video Games
My Hatred For Skip Bayless, Stuart Scott, And All Else Wrong With My Beloved Network Since Disney Took Over
~~Good Tasteful Humor~~ Tasteless Jokes

THINGS I WILL NOT TALK ABOUT:

Flowers
Woman Things
Hockey
Nascar
My Wish
HGTV
American Idol
Reality TV

There's actually a lot more to the latter list, I just don't want to write it all out...you should be able to figure it out after a while. I don't really have an audience to cater to yet, so feel free to bitch if I write about a boring topic. In closing, if I can manage to keep writing here through the end of the summer then I might not kill it off there...but no promises.

If you won't read it for me, at least read it for this guy?