Christmas Specials, Week 12

My God I Love This Tree and I Don't Know Why

As a kid, Christmas was always my favorite holiday, granted, for all the wrong reasons. Ignoring everything to do with religion was the way to go, it was all about the presents as a kid. Now, my favorite holiday is Thanksgiving, all because of food, football and family. Despite this, I still love to watch a lot of the Christmas themed movies and shows on TV even if they are deemed for children. To commemorate this, I have put together my Top Ten Favorite Christmas Related Programs. So, without further ado...

The Under .500 Christmas Related Program Top Ten

10. A Christmas Story (1983)
To start, no movie should ever be aired for 24 hours straight. I don't care what movie it is, it just should not happen at all. I like the movie a lot, but not enough to watch it for 24 hours the straight, the only good part of it being on that much is that I can watch it one time through over the course of that 24 hours. One time a year is about all I can stand of this one, despite it being a classic and one of the best in my childhood.

9. Santa Claus Conquers The Martians (1964)
I don't remember how I heard about this movie, I think it was from my dad, but all I know is that this is the greatest shitty B-Christmas movie ever. It provides excellent entertainment at 3AM now, ever since they decided to quit showing Hook at that time of night. Not a mainstream classic, but a classic in my family.

8. A Flintstones Christmas Carol (1994)
They show this about 20 times a year on Cartoon Network, it makes my day every time it is on. A Christmas Carol is probably my favorite Christmas story ever, partly because it is more of a political statement than anything and partly because my first memory of it is watching an oral presentation of it one Christmas Eve night with my dad that featured James Earl Jones and an A-list of other actors reading Dickens' classic.

7. Frosty The Snowman (1969)
This is a classic, plain and simple. Growing up I would scour the TV guide to find out when this was on so that I could tune in and watch. I'm pretty sure that we got it on VHS at one point and my mom made it disappear because I would watch it year round.

6. Rudolph The Red-Nosed Reindeer (1964)
Another classic in the anoles of Christmas TV specials. Yukon Cornelius is God, the Abominable Snowman is Jesus and the elf that wants to be a dentist is gay. God that is great story telling.

5. A Charlier Brown Christmas (1965)
Classic number four on my list. I used to be able to quote the whole special in my formative days, yes I was a nerd and still am. This is one of those quintessential classics that I only hope I can watch with my kids when I potentially have them.

4. Simpsons Roasting on an Open Fire (1989)
I think that this is the most recent on my list so far, and with good reason. This is not only the first Christmas episode of The Simpsons, it is also the first episode of The Simpsons. Telling the classic tale of how the family got Santa's Little Helper, this episode has it all. Bart gets a tattoo, Homer loses his bonus and dresses as a mall Santa, Homer gambles, and Marge uses the Christmas money to pay for Bart's tattoo removal, simply amazing.

3. How The Grinch Stole Christmas (1966)
Fuck that Jim Carrey shit, this is the real motherfuckin deal. Dr. Seuss is a king among men for this tale of Christmas cheer, burglary, and breaking/entering. Plus, the dog is just too cute, there, I said it. I also love to hear and sing the song...You're a mean one, Mr. Grinch.

2. It's A Wonderful Life (1946)
If you don't like this movie, then fuck you. This is the epitome of the word classic. I remember watching this as the kick-off to my holiday season viewing every Thanksgiving night with my parents, sadly NBC decided to ditch that in favor of The Incredibles. James Stewart as George Bailey is one of the few characters from any movie to really make me feel bad for them. Hell, I have more respect for him than Atticus Finch, and that is saying something because Gregory Peck would make Chuck Norris his bitch.

1. National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation (1989)
This is the pivotal Christmas movie for my family. Every year my mom would try to make us the Waltons and we would end up full fledged Griswold by the day's end. Not to mention we have quite a few Cousin Eddies in my family. When I have my own house and family, my house will look like the Griswold's with all of the lights. It really isn't Christmas time until I watch this movie, and I do believe it will be about a week or two before I see it. What better way to kick off finals?

WEEK 12 PICKS (Winners in Bold)
96-64 on the year, an even 60%.

Green Bay @ Det - Not going against them on Thanksgiving this year.

NYJ @ Dal

Indy @ ATL - Wouldn't it be a bitch if ATL won?

NO @ Car

Ten @ Cin

Min @ NYG

Sea @ STL - STL is on a roll, but Seattle kind of it too.

Was @ TB

Oak @ KC

Buf @ Jac

Hou @ Cle - Toss up, but I think Houston has a better defense...oddly enough.

SF @ Ari

Bal @ SD

Den @ Chi - Didn't they move this for the Griese storyline?

Phi @ NE

Mia @ Pit - Miami should never be on MNF.