Week 17

I don't really know why I'm going to bother this week. Week 17 means that it is about 4 teams really playing, and a lot of teams tanking for draft picks, and a couple teams resting starters. Oh yeah, and I guess some team is going to try and go 16-0 for the first time ever. I'm just going to list who I think will win.

Eagles
Tampa Bay
Bengals
Steelers
Browns
Packers
Texans
Saints
Redskins
Broncos
Seahawks
Chargers
Rams
Jets
Titans
Patriots

Week 16

Xmas Break, I hate it.

Winners in Bold

Pittsburgh v. STL

Dallas v. Carolina

NY Giants v. Buffalo

KC v. Detroit

Philly v. New Orleans

Oakland v. Jacksonville

Cleveland v. Cincinnatti

Green Bay v. Chicago

Houston v. Indianapolis

Atlanta v. Arizona

Tampa Bay v. San Francisco

NY Jets v. Tennessee

Baltimore v. Seattle

Miami v. New England

Washington v. Minnesota

Denver v. San Diego

Finals = Hell and Week 15

Finals week, sorry this is late.

Week 15 Picks
Shitty last week, plus shitty start to this week. I haven't done the math yet, but it was ugly. Anyway, winners in bold.

Broncos vs. Texans

Bengals vs 49ers

Browns vs Bills

Chiefs vs Titans

Packers vs Rams

Ravens vs Dolphins

Patriots vs Jets

Saints vs Cards

Steelers vs Jags

Bucs vs Falcons

Seahawks vs Panthers

Colts vs Raiders

Cowboys vs Eagles

Chargers vs Lions

Giants vs Redskins

Vikings vs Bears

19-0, Week 14

Drop the Farm Animal, and Slowly Back Away...

Now that the Patriots going undefeated seems a lot closer and a lot more probable, pending a win against Pittsburgh, I decided it was time to finally address that whole situation. Despite Spygate, despite the incessant running up the score on their opponents, despite Tom being gay and apparently into beastiality, and despite their head coach being a hobo, I am in complete support of New England going udnefeated this year. Spygate was in the first half of week 1, they didn't have time to use anything they got and if you really believe that they're the only team to do it then you're pretty stupid anyway. Don Shula can kiss my ass for trying to say they need an asterisk if they go undefeated, you're just pissed that you couldn't have done it yourself, you crazy old coot. I love how they run up the score too, they are the best team in the NFL and they know it. More power to them, if you can't stop them then you get what you get. The fact of the matter is that the Patriots are the model franchise right now, built around winning as a team. Look at Randy Moss now, and remember how he was in Oakland and Minnesota. They have the right philosophy and the right players who all have the mindset about winning, regardless of if they have to take a paycut or even be cut for a period of time to help with the cap situation. Don't get me wrong, I hate Simmons and all of the fuckhead Boston fans, but Im willing to let it slide for this one. Plus it gives Tom that unbeatable edge over that fuckwad Peyton Manning, it also helps that I have Tom, Randy, Donte, and Maroney on my fantasy team(s). Now if only we can get Tom away from the farm animals...

WEEK 14
A horrible 7-9 last week, hopefully a better record for this week. 111-81 on the year, winners in bold.

Chicago v. Washington

Miami v. Buffalo

St. Louis v. Cincinnatti

Dallas v. Detroit

Oakland v. Green Bay

Tampa Bay v. Houston

San Diego v. Tennessee

Carolina v. Jacksonville

NY Giants v. Philadelphia

Arizona v. Seattle

Minnesota v. San Francisco

Pittsburgh v. New England

Kansas City v. Denver

Cleveland v. NY Jets

Indianapolis v. Baltimore

New Orleans v. Atlanta

NFL Network, Week 13

Kinda Like Communism, But Completely Different

I'm one of the 24 people in America that has the NFL Network. Granted, I have the NFL Network at home, so when I am at school I happen to be shit out of luck. To me, the NFL Network is like Communism. On paper it is a brilliant idea, in practice it actually kind of sucks. On the plus side, I can be involved with the NFL on a whole new level, whether it is the coverage you get from NFL Total Access, their coverage of the Combine, their training camp coverage, the new series about each Super Bowl, and even when they show non-NFL events like the World Cup of American Football. On the downside, not everyone has it, so when they show games on Thursday nights noone gets to watch. In the past, I haven't been worried about that a all because they have generally had fairly shitty games on the NFL Network and the one that I did care about I got on free TV anyway. Tonight is the Green Bay Packers playing the Dallas Cowboys on the NFL Network, and I don't get to watch the game because I am at school. The supposed "Battle for the NFC" is tonight, and a majority of people will not get to watch it at all. I'm going to have to go to a bar to watch, and even then I might not get to see it because the cable carrier in Emporia feels the need to not have it in their packages. The NFL Network is on the verge of failing, and unless they can get their shit together, then we may lose what was once a brilliant idea that fell just a little short in practice.

WEEK 13
104-72 on the year, 8-8 last week, here's hoping this week turns out better. I mean shoot, who thought the Bengals would go nuts, Oakland would win a division game an Denver would be dumb enough to kick to Hester again even after he ran one back for a TD.

Green Bay v. Dallas - Tough choice, but my gut says Dallas.

San Francisco v. Carolina - Better question is, who cares?

Jacksonville v. Indianapolis - So hot right now, should beat slumping Colts.

Buffalo v. Washington - RIP Man-Beast.

Houston v. Tennessee - This is a toss up depending on which Titans show up.

Atlanta v. St. Louis

Seattle v. Philadelphia

Detroit v. Minnesota

NY Jets v. Miami - Crap shoot.

San Diego v. Kansas City - Fool me once, shame on you...

Denver v. Oakland - Outright win this time.

Cleveland v. Arizona

NY Giants v. Chicago - If Elisha doesn't throw 50 bajillion picks.

Tampa Bay v. New Orleans

Cincinnatti v. Pittsburgh

New England v. Baltimore - Philly came close, but Baltimore won't do it.

Christmas Specials, Week 12

My God I Love This Tree and I Don't Know Why

As a kid, Christmas was always my favorite holiday, granted, for all the wrong reasons. Ignoring everything to do with religion was the way to go, it was all about the presents as a kid. Now, my favorite holiday is Thanksgiving, all because of food, football and family. Despite this, I still love to watch a lot of the Christmas themed movies and shows on TV even if they are deemed for children. To commemorate this, I have put together my Top Ten Favorite Christmas Related Programs. So, without further ado...

The Under .500 Christmas Related Program Top Ten

10. A Christmas Story (1983)
To start, no movie should ever be aired for 24 hours straight. I don't care what movie it is, it just should not happen at all. I like the movie a lot, but not enough to watch it for 24 hours the straight, the only good part of it being on that much is that I can watch it one time through over the course of that 24 hours. One time a year is about all I can stand of this one, despite it being a classic and one of the best in my childhood.

9. Santa Claus Conquers The Martians (1964)
I don't remember how I heard about this movie, I think it was from my dad, but all I know is that this is the greatest shitty B-Christmas movie ever. It provides excellent entertainment at 3AM now, ever since they decided to quit showing Hook at that time of night. Not a mainstream classic, but a classic in my family.

8. A Flintstones Christmas Carol (1994)
They show this about 20 times a year on Cartoon Network, it makes my day every time it is on. A Christmas Carol is probably my favorite Christmas story ever, partly because it is more of a political statement than anything and partly because my first memory of it is watching an oral presentation of it one Christmas Eve night with my dad that featured James Earl Jones and an A-list of other actors reading Dickens' classic.

7. Frosty The Snowman (1969)
This is a classic, plain and simple. Growing up I would scour the TV guide to find out when this was on so that I could tune in and watch. I'm pretty sure that we got it on VHS at one point and my mom made it disappear because I would watch it year round.

6. Rudolph The Red-Nosed Reindeer (1964)
Another classic in the anoles of Christmas TV specials. Yukon Cornelius is God, the Abominable Snowman is Jesus and the elf that wants to be a dentist is gay. God that is great story telling.

5. A Charlier Brown Christmas (1965)
Classic number four on my list. I used to be able to quote the whole special in my formative days, yes I was a nerd and still am. This is one of those quintessential classics that I only hope I can watch with my kids when I potentially have them.

4. Simpsons Roasting on an Open Fire (1989)
I think that this is the most recent on my list so far, and with good reason. This is not only the first Christmas episode of The Simpsons, it is also the first episode of The Simpsons. Telling the classic tale of how the family got Santa's Little Helper, this episode has it all. Bart gets a tattoo, Homer loses his bonus and dresses as a mall Santa, Homer gambles, and Marge uses the Christmas money to pay for Bart's tattoo removal, simply amazing.

3. How The Grinch Stole Christmas (1966)
Fuck that Jim Carrey shit, this is the real motherfuckin deal. Dr. Seuss is a king among men for this tale of Christmas cheer, burglary, and breaking/entering. Plus, the dog is just too cute, there, I said it. I also love to hear and sing the song...You're a mean one, Mr. Grinch.

2. It's A Wonderful Life (1946)
If you don't like this movie, then fuck you. This is the epitome of the word classic. I remember watching this as the kick-off to my holiday season viewing every Thanksgiving night with my parents, sadly NBC decided to ditch that in favor of The Incredibles. James Stewart as George Bailey is one of the few characters from any movie to really make me feel bad for them. Hell, I have more respect for him than Atticus Finch, and that is saying something because Gregory Peck would make Chuck Norris his bitch.

1. National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation (1989)
This is the pivotal Christmas movie for my family. Every year my mom would try to make us the Waltons and we would end up full fledged Griswold by the day's end. Not to mention we have quite a few Cousin Eddies in my family. When I have my own house and family, my house will look like the Griswold's with all of the lights. It really isn't Christmas time until I watch this movie, and I do believe it will be about a week or two before I see it. What better way to kick off finals?

WEEK 12 PICKS (Winners in Bold)
96-64 on the year, an even 60%.

Green Bay @ Det - Not going against them on Thanksgiving this year.

NYJ @ Dal

Indy @ ATL - Wouldn't it be a bitch if ATL won?

NO @ Car

Ten @ Cin

Min @ NYG

Sea @ STL - STL is on a roll, but Seattle kind of it too.

Was @ TB

Oak @ KC

Buf @ Jac

Hou @ Cle - Toss up, but I think Houston has a better defense...oddly enough.

SF @ Ari

Bal @ SD

Den @ Chi - Didn't they move this for the Griese storyline?

Phi @ NE

Mia @ Pit - Miami should never be on MNF.

Week 11 and Barry Bonds

I Don't Like You, But You're Kinda Getting Screwed

Baseball is one of my three favorite sports, right up there with both varieties of football. I used to go to see my Royals play every year for my birthday until I went to college, and I still go as often as I can. Baseball was a uniter in my family, my brother was great at it, my dad enjoyed it, and my mom could actually get into it. It was a better time, back when I was younger and barely knew what the hell a steroid was, back before McGwire broke Maris' record in his homerun race and back when Barry Bonds didn't look like he had obviously taken something. The sad thing about it all is, that we got duped. We all got drawn in by the spectacle of Sosa and McGwire, I did too, hell, I even had the poster chronicling eveyr home run that he hit. Baseball was declining and it came at just the right time to make it exciting and get the national interest back into the game, but the fact of the matter was that we got duped. McGwire was the same as Bonds, compare cards from the careers and you can tell, though McGwire isn't as blatently obvious. In the midst of all of the excitement we neglected to even think about how roided up those two had to have been, and we know Bug Selig didn't care, the sport was getting a renewed interest from the nation. Now Barry Bonds has been indicted, but what do they have on him? The government has been working for years to try an get him without anything, so why would they suddenly have some new information now? Were they just waiting for him to break the record? I don't like the guy, but when did he fail a test? Oh yeah, thats right, he never failed one. This isn't Major League Baseball finally making a stand when it comes to stuff like this, this is Major League Baseball engaging in the worst scapegoatism since Germany in the 1930's. I know that steroids are bad for you, but why are they focusing all of their energy on Barry when they have other guys like Rick Ankiel, Paul Byrd, Jason Grimsely, Troy Glaus and a ton of other players who have either failed tests or been implicated through some other means? It's ridiculous, and even kinda sad to think that Barry is going to be publicly crucified for something that noone can prove happened. The worst part of it all is ESPN, so quick to always bring up the questions about Barry, yet when one of your "analysts" admits taking steroids on the air you cover it up like it was Watergate. Barry, I don't like you, but you're really getting fucked on this one. At least you'll have your record for another few years...until A-Rod takes it.


WEEK 11
7-7 last week, not too good, but better than a scroogey communist friend of mine. 84-60 on the year, which is decent I guess, I don't really know.


WEEK 11 PICKS, WINNERS IN BOLD

Cleveland vs. Baltimore

Jacksonville vs. San Diego

Philadelphia vs. Miami

Minnesota vs. Oakland

Indianapolis vs. Kansas City - 2 in a row was unlikely, but 3 is not possible

Green Bay vs. Carolina

New York Giants vs. Detroit

Tampa Bay vs. Atlanta

New Orleans vs. Houston

New England vs. Buffalo - As Ja Rule would say, it's MURDAHHHHHHHH

Cincinnati vs. Arizona

Pittsburgh vs. New York Jets

San Francisco vs. St. Louis

Dallas vs. Washington

Seattle vs. Chicago - The Sex Cannon will rise again

Denver vs. Tennessee

Google images for the pic...as always

Denver and Week 10

Dammit No

I decided to wait on writing this post until later in the week because I felt that writing it while I was still pissed off about the game woul end up being a bad decision. This year, I had such high hopes for the Broncos. On paper it felt like they were one of the only teams that could go toe to toe with the Patriots and make it a close game, if not win it all. Then came the injuries, Ebenezer Ekuban, Tom Nalen, Ben Hamilton, Javon Walker, Rod Smith, etc. All of them starters, all of them gone for the season, except in Walker's case who could be coming back soon. Then you throw in Travis Henry's problems as well as Brandon Marshall's potential problems and you've got even more thrown on it. Then you add in the new defensive run containment scheme as well as the lack of a true middle linebacker due to Al Wilson leaving and you've got even more problems. They just kepe stacking up, after a 2-2 start, followed by the win against the Steelers after bye week, it looked like things were taking a turn for the better. The young defensive line was stepping up and getting in the back field, the trade where we got Dre Bly finally looked like it was going to work out well for us, and the offense was actually scoring touchdowns and getting points out of the red zone. Then came Green Bay and it looked like they took 2 steps back for every step forward they had. If it weren't for the offense being unable to get points, and a 1 in 200 chance of fumbling the ball on the 1 yard line, Denver probably would have won that game, hell, they probably would have won if they had the ball first in overtime, but that is another story. Then came the Lions game, the heart attack inducing moment of seeing Cutler taken off of the field after being injured, and the 44-7 loss. One bright spot out of that was Patrick Ramsey's 29/46 for 262 yards with 1 INT and 1 TD, giving me faith in our backup QB, a little more than I ever had with Plummer there. Now we come into KC for week 10. Cutler will play, which is good because it gave quite a scare. I could go into analysis of this game, but that would be long and boring, so I will. The Chief's O-line is horrible, simple as that. LJ is out for the game and the Chief's are left with Preist Holmes who has clearly lost a step in his two year layoff. Damon Huard should get eaten alive if the Denver defense that blitzes and gets in the backfield shows up to play on Sunday. The Chief's receivers suck, Dwayne Bowe is going to be great, but he is nursing a hamstring injury now that could slow him down, Eddie Kennison is getting worse with age, and Sammi Parker is the worst player I think I've ever seen. The Chief's defense is good, but are on the field way too much. if the defense can stop their offense and quit allowing them to convert on third down, I think that their offense can exploit the defense being on the field too much and allow for a Broncos win. Also, don't be surprised to see Brodie Croyle before it is all over if the Broncos get ahead quick.

WEEK 10 PICKS (Winners in BOLD)
11-3 last week, 77-53 on the year putting me at 59%. With the way this season has gone, that ain't half bad.

Pittsburgh vs. Cleveland - revenge is beautiful

Washington vs. Philadelphia

Carolina vs. Atlanta - bragging about winning this is like bragging about being the smartest kid with downs syndrome

New Orleans vs. St. Louis

Buffalo vs. Miami

Kansas City vs. Denver

Tennessee vs. Jacksonville

Green Bay vs. Minnesota - please, please Purple Jesus

Baltimore vs. Cincinnati - crapshoot

Dallas vs. New York Giants

Arizona vs. Detroit - 10 wins is a lot closer now

Chicago vs. Oakland

Indianapolis vs. San Diego

Seattle vs. San Francisco

Thanks to KSK and especially Ape for all of your brilliance and wit. This was the only picture of the fumble TD I could find.

Week 9 Picks and ESPN

Punk Bitch...That Is All

I don't like ESPN, I do believe I have made that point before with my coverage of the "Who's Now" bullshit. There are a few reasons why I don't like them, the largest of which being that they are owned by Disney, but a large second is that they take rumors and try to present them as fact. Case in point, the Kobe Bryant trade rumors with Chicago. Currently, ESPN has been reporting that there were talks to trade Kobe Bryant to the Bulls for Luol Deng, Ben Gordon, Tyrus Thomas and Joakim Noah...and I know that this has been killed by the Bulls GM just tongiht. Anyway, this idea is completely retarded for them to ever consider reporting if only for the fact that it would never, ever, happen in a million years. Kobe Bryant has trade vetoe power, so gutting the Bulls roster for him isn't going to happen. The Kobe-Hinrich-Ben Wallace team doesn't sound too good with the way Wallace played last year and I seriously doubt Kobe would stand for it. Why would he want to allow himself to go to a team that would have little more talent than the current team he is with? Thank you very much ESPN for latching on to the littlest rumor you could find in an effort to come up with something to talk about on Sportscenter since you currently don't have any bullshit promotion like Who's Now or that shitty My Wish bullshit. I almost wish you would start showing that autistic kid who nailed more 3 pointers in one night than I'm sure I have in my life. Also giving me more evidence about ESPN pulling this shit is after Ronnie Brown got injured for the season. In the lead in for Sportscenter, they proceeded to show clips of LT, LJ, Travis Henry, Clinton Portis and a few other big name backs in the league while saying that a running back was injured that past weekend that could have a huge fantasy impact. Now, I saw this on Wed, so God only knows what day it initially aired, but any football fan I know would already know that it was Ronnie Brown. So why show clips of every big name back in the league without showing one of the guy that got hurt? Hell, why are you still reporting on an injury from 4 days before and trying to be vague like you're hiding a spoiler or something? Thank you ESPN for making me hate you ever since Disney bought you and made you go to shit. Fuckin assholes.

Week 9 Picks - Winners In Bold
66-50 on the year, 10-3 last week.

Detroit vs. Denver - Win here in a shootout...pending Denver can get into the end zone.

Atlanta vs. San Francisco

Buffalo vs. Cincinnati

Tennessee vs. Carolina

Kansas City vs. Green Bay - Please, for all that is holy in the world.

San Diego vs. Minnesota

New Orleans vs. Jacksonville - Not with Quinn Gray.

Washington vs. New York Jets

Tampa Bay vs. Arizona

Cleveland vs. Seattle

New England vs. Indianapolis

Oakland vs. Houston

Dallas vs. Philadelphia

Pittsburgh vs. Baltimore

Google Images for the pic.

I'm Probably Gonna Get Sued For This

I'm Probably Gonna Get Sued For This

As you all know, I am a wrestling fan. While it isn't as well known these days as it was way back in my youth, I still keep myself relatively up to date with the goings on of the WWE and to a lesser extent TNA. Now, I'm not the guy that is going to go stake myself out in the floor lounge to watch every week, but if I see it on, I'll probably check it out until I either get bored or find it way too ridiculous. That is why I came up with this, taking the current WWE roster, I am going to go over a series of storylines that could be used on television if they were smart. The only change to the current roster is that I am going to re-hire Cryme Tyme...not just because they were funny but because they would work the part I need, I also am going to re-hire Teddy Hart. So, without further ado...

First things first, trade Snitsky to Smackdown for MVP, Hardcore Holly/Jim Duggan to Smackdown for Chris Masters and Kenny Dykstra and Santino Marelli/Super Crazy to ECW for CM Punk/Elijah Burke. From there begin a feud with the returning Cryme Tyme with Cade and Murdoch. Have Cryme Tyme return as a team of thugs instead of the fun guys they used to be, sell it on the way they were fired as a means to get over. Wait a couple weeks and give them the belts after they destroy the tag team ranks of Raw and go on to start trying to recruit Superstars such as Elijah Burke, MVP and Shelton Benjamin. Have Burke and MVP join up but delay Shelton for a couple weeks to set up a will he/won't he situation and end it with Benjamin turning on Haas to start a feud there. While this is going on, keep up the Shawn Michaels feud with Orton, maybe even giving Michaels a small run there going in to Survivor Series. During a promo for Michaels, have Harry Smith cut in talking about his families history, bring up the Montreal Screw Job and say that he wants to bury the hatchet between Michaels and the Hart family at Survivor Series. End Survivor series with the New Hart Foundation debut with Teddy Hart, Nattie Neidhart and TJ Wilson screwing over Michaels and giving Orton the title. From there have Michaels and inevitably HHH feud with the New Hart Foundation to put them over. The following night, have Orton cut a promo where Cryme Tyme, Burke, MVP and Shelton come out to intimidate Orton saying that their boss wants to "meet" with him. Lead this up for a few weeks and reveal the boss to be a returning heel Lashley and set up a Randy Orton/Bobby Lashley feud. Have Orton form a counter-alliance with Charlie Haas, Cody Rodes and Kenny Dykstra as the "New Blood" tag team, Chris Masters and Ken Kennedy. Jeff Hardy can feud with Umaga and Carlito over the IC belt, the tag belts can go between Cryme Tyme, the New Blood, Hart Foundation, Kendrick and London, Cade and Murdoch and anyone else they want to throw in there. Have Lashley beat Orton for the belt and play and Orton sidelined storyline giving Kennedy the chance to challenge and elevate himself. When the time comes, they can do the John Cena return and even have him go heel and side with Lashley or even take over Lashley's crew after a loss to Kennedy for the belt.

Accounting for nearly everyone on the Raw roster, aside from the pending Chris Jericho return, and then also adding a few familiar faces, this is a surefire way to bring back the old faction feel to Raw in a limited fashion as a hope to boost ratings and garner new interest. Sure, it may sound like a re-hash of the Nation of Domination, but it worked and can probably work again. It's not like they haven't reused old storylines and factions before, look at the nWo and DX.

It is only when I finish this that I realize how much of a nerd I am, or how much I should be writing for WWE, or both. See what the Red Sox do to me?

Credit for names, characters, everything to WWE including it's logo. Please don't sue me, I promise I know the product.

Fall Break Week 8 Picks

I just wanted to go out on a limb here and give a list of the top 5 dumbest things of the week. So here we go...

5. New England Fans
What can I say about New England fans that hasn't been said everywhere else. You're all obnoxious fucks that annoy the shit out of me. 95% of you are sad sacks of shit, to the 5% that aren't obnoxious, I'm sorry that you're associated with these assclowns.

4. KU Fans
Congratulations, you're 8-0, but who have you played? You can win out and you still won't get the national championship game, and even if you do, you'll more than likely get crushed by whoever you end up playing unless it ends up being BC.

3. The 10 Year Old On ESPN
Man, you're cool dressing up like Ditka and all. It's too bad FOX was doing that lame routine about 3 years ago when Caliendo started. I'm glad to know you can learn what ESPN tells you to say and then repeat it in front of a camera, but maybe you should think for yourself.

2. Cartoon Network
Don't get me wrong, I was really into the whole Goosebumps thing when I was young. They were great books, and while the show was kind of lame, it was pretty cool to see the books acted out in a manner that was kind of shitty. Anyway, why are you showing live action stuff now? I don't think that those are cartoons.

1. Fall Break
I think I'm maybe the only one that agrees with this, but why is it that a school that sees the whole population leave every weekend feels the need to give us a fall break? Everyone is going to go home anyway. You faught and faught to get us this break and it's pointless, just give us another 2 days for Thanksgiving and not have class that week.

Things That I Like This Week:

• College Football
• Night Of The Living Dead @ 2AM
• Sleeping
• 30 Days Of Night
• The Looming Halloween

WEEK 8 PICKS
9-5 last week, 56-47 on the year. Winners in bold.

Bears (3-4) v Detroit (4-2)

Steelers (4-2) v Bengals (2-4)

Titans (4-2) v Raiders (2-4)

Rams (0-7) v Browns (3-3)

Giants (5-2) v Dolphins (0-7)

Vikings (2-4) v Eagles (2-4)

Colts (6-0) v Panthers (4-2)

Jets (1-6) v Bills (2-4)

Chargers (3-3) v Texans (3-4)

Bucs (4-3) v Jags (4-2)

Pats (7-0) v Redskins (4-2)

Saints (2-4) v 49ers (2-4)

Broncos (3-3) v Packers (5-1) (MNF)

Week 7 and Homecoming

gotta love the theme this year

I go to a small college right now as opposed to being like everyone else I graduated with and going to KU or KSU, more specifically, I go to Emporia State in Emporia, KS. It's a nice smaller town that gets moderate support from the community ranging from the businesses that bend over backwards for us to the businesses that go only as far as hanging a poster for the current play or current sports team schedules and then on the bottom rung which is the businesses who try to act like the college doesn't exist. This weekend is also Homecoming for us, and yet again, I'm failing to get excited for it. In past years we have been blessed with such horrible themes as "Oh Wow, A Luau" and "Dancin in the Street" which actually gave this year promise when I saw that the theme was "Old Time Black and Gold." To the uninitiated, this is a play off of the song "Old Time Rock and Roll" they just changed rock and roll with our school colors, get it? It's funny. Now, I'm not completely sure on what other schools may do to celebrate homecoming, but I feel like we get stuck with nothing but events that probably wouldn't even make it into a high school homecoming celebration. On the lineup this year, we have tricycle races, a night of shitty skits put on by the fraternities and sororities all finished up by the usual football game that I am sure we will end up losing. Ya know, the other departments always bitch about how noone shows up to the school events because they're out partying and such, but maybe if they put on events that were, oh maybe fun, then they might get a bolstered attendance. The non greek population of the school doesn't enjoy going to events where the school kisses ass to the greeks, so why would they bother going? It seems fairly common sense to me. The other thing that bothers me in the football team. How long do I have to go through school with teams that don't win? After I graduated high school, their team got really good and now contends for state every year, and now I'm at Emporia State where we have a fairly underachieving team who will probably kick ass after I graduate. I was at the game last weekend, like I am every weekend we have home games and I noticed something interesting about the difference between the two teams. Washburn is huge. They have some very large players on the team, whereas we have little guys who bulk up certain parts of their bodies...the arms. Is Emporia trying to make a point by playing smaller players on the team instead of recruiting some of the larger guys coming out of high school? Is this bound to pay off for us in the long run? Will we get a homecoming win this year? I doubt it, we'll probably be unable to execute on the same draw play and fail to try anything else. Just a couple of the billion things wrong with the school I guess, oh well, maybe they will all enjoy the RA's playing a game of tug of war at halftime...I won't get my hopes up.

WEEK 7 PICKS
47-42 on the year after a shitty week last week. I need to quit slacking.

Ravens v Bills

Lions v Bucs

Pats v Dolphins

Saints v Falcons - Streak time

Giants v 49ers

Redskins v Cards

Texans v Titans - No Vinsanity means no win

Bengals v Jets

Chiefs v Raiders

Cowboys v Vikings - I've got Purple Jesus fever

Bears v Eagles

Seahawks v Rams

Steelers v Broncos (SNF) - Can't go against my team

Jaguars v Colts (MNF) - It's bound to happen sooner or later

Enjoy the weekend, I know I'll have a blast working the whole thing.

Week 6 Picks and Shit

i love double meanings, especially when they make fun of KU

As anyone who knows me will attest, I hate KU. Yes, I'm from Kansas, but I cannot stand Lawrence, KU, or anything that has any remote connection to the school...unless it's a friend and then I'm fairly tolerant. This usually gets the response of people asking me if I am a K-state fan instead, to which I must respond to with a resounding "NO" as well. I don't like any of the Kansas schools as far as college sports go, barring the exception that is Emporia State, and only because I go there. I never became a fan of college sports until my senior year of high school when I went to Alabama to visit my Grandma, and that was when I found out that they have a channel devoted to nothing but Crimson Tide sports. After watching that channel for 2 weeks straight, I knew pretty much everything about the football team and was pretty sure I had finally found a college team that I enjoyed. I liked the craziness of the fans, the prestige of the team even if the weren't winning it all every year, and best of all, it was a jumping on point in which they weren't doing well ensuring that it wouldn't be called a bandwagoning moment. So now, it's 5 years later and I've seen them do shitty, mediocre, and even good. It's given me another degree of fandom in the NFL as well, now I have former Bama players to root for, and hate as in the case of Derrick Thomas. I also know the basketball team too, which really says something for me as a fan because I really don't like basketball that much. But, back to the point, I hate KU. The worst part of it is when people I know assume that my hatred for KU is because I'm a K-state fan, as evidenced on Saturday when KU beast K-state at football. The game was close, but had been over for about an hour when I get a text message from a female friend of mine who will remain nameless, it says "take that, ROCK CHALK BABY!" Now, I do talk a lot of shit on KU, but for them to be so excited about beating nothing but cupcake opponents, and then a weak K-state side is ridiculous. Play real teams and go 5-0, I bet you'll go 0-5 and your coach will suffer a heart attack on the sideline. I heard from a friend of mine that he went in to a restaurant and Mangini came in to eat, it was a buffet and Mangini kept eating and eating and ate the restaurant out of food and they had to close forever. Actually, that was loosely from The Simpsons, but my friend did say that he ate about 3 appetizers and then somewhere around 2 meals and a few drinks...my guess is that he then went to McDonalds afterward. Mangini makes me take back every Jabba The Hutt joke I ever made about Charlie Weiss, and then transfer it all to Mangini. If I ever see KU play a "real" team this year, and by real I mean a team that isn't considered a cupcake, then I assure you that they will lose faster than you can say "every Chiefs QB ever has sucked, with exception of Joe Montana, Brodie Croyle and Len Dawson." It saddens me to know that I have so many friends who make the poor life decision of being a KU fan, but as long as they have their rock chalk, I'll still give them mine...Rock Chalk Gayhawk, Fuck KU!

DENVER BRONCOS: After last week, all I have to say is thank God they are on bye. I hope they can get their shit together after that pitiful performance to the Chargers. It felt like the Chargers just forgot about every other game and them prepared for nothing but Denver for the first 4 weeks of the season. Jesus Denver needs to do something.

WEEK 6 PICKS, HOME TEAM IN CAPS, WINNER IN BOLD
(41-35 on the year)
Rams v RAVENS - This is gonna be ugly, and I only pick STL because the Ravens D is that bad.

Redskins v PACKERS

Titans v BUCCANEERS

Bengals v CHIEFS - The Bengals don't need a defense to beat the Chiefs, just keep the Offense off the field with long, slow drives

Eagles v JETS - Crap shoot.

JAGUARS v Texans

BEARS v Vikings - Adrian Peterson, for the win.

BROWNS v Dolphins

CARDINALS v Panthers

Raiders v CHARGERS

Patriots v COWBOYS - For all that is good and holy I want both teams to somehow lose, but if I have to pick it's the lesser of two evils in the Pats.

SEAHAWKS v Saints

Giants v FALCONS - I cannot understand why this game is the Monday Night game, I feel like they need flex scheduling sooner rather than later. The same goes for the Sunday Night game. Excellent scheduling NFL, way to go.

ALCS AND NLCS PICKS, WINNERS IN BOLD
INDIANS over Boston in 5 - I hate Boston, but I also hate the Indians, so this isn't a bias pick. The Indians have been hot as of late, and I have a feeling Boston will choke.

ROCKIES over Arizona in 6 - Colorado has been so hot as of late, and despite the Diamondbacks having beat them the only time in about the past 20, I cannot see it happening more than twice.

Silly Trent Green, I Don't Pity You...Too Much

Sucks It Had To Happen, But He Kinda Had It Coming

That was the scene Sunday when, for the second year in a row, Trent Green got carted off with a concussion after making a very, very stupid decision. In week one of last year, Trent Green was scrambling to make a first down when he got hit when making an attempt at a slide. Green was well withing the distance to make the first down and get out of bounds, but he made the idiotic choice to slide instead. Robert Geathers was demonized for that hit, despite being in the process of tackling well before Green attempted to slide, and also despite that he was essentially clipped into Green by his own wide-receiver, Eddie Kennison. Even the NFL came out and said that it was a clean hit, but as usual, the ignorant Kansas City Chiefs fans that I have the misfortune of being in the general vicinity of felt the need to still call it a cheap hit. Yesterday, Trent Green was making a block for his team on Travis Johnson, the only problem for this block was that it was at Johnson's knee. I don't care who the hell you think you are on a football field, YOU DO NOT GO FOR ANOTHER PLAYER'S KNEE! Instead of ending Johnson's season, and potentially career, Trent Green went down with another concussion and was carted off of the field, and in the aftermath, Johnson was penalized for taunting Green as he lay on the ground. The backlash against Johnson has been ridiculous for his taunting Green, yet, it doesn't bother me. Yeah, it sucks for Trent Green that he got taken out with another concussion, but at the same time, he shouldn't have made such a horrible block. To reiterate my point earlier, YOU DO NO GO FOR ANOTHER PLAYER'S KNEE! Trent Green is at a point in his career that he needs to be looking out for himself, that means he needs to quit putting himself in dangerous situations like this. If he can't bring himself to correctly block and not do it in a fashion that could ruin the career of the player that he is blocking, then Trent Green has no business blocking people at all. As far as I'm concerned, Travis Johnson was right in "taunting" Trent Green as he lay on the field. How would it have looked the other way around if Green laying the block, and his helmet, into Johnson's knee had left Johnson on the ground unable to continue playing, possibly ending his career because Green couldn't put a legit block on him? The worst part of all of this is that thanks to ESPN, I am going to have to listen to nothing this week but people talking about how horrible a person Travis Johnson is because he taunted Green while he was on the ground, yet noone will point out that Green was easily the player in the wrong with the block that he tried to lay on Johnson. It's horrible to say, but I really do hope that this time Trent sees that he isn't the player he was and finally decides to hang it up and be done, before he goes back out there and messes himself up even more, or even worse, messes someone else up bad enough that they cannot continues to make their living.

"My knee ain't never hurt like it hurt today. If you want to hit me, hit me in my head, hit me in my chest, don't hit me in my knee. I'm trying to eat just like everybody else. So, to hit me like that, that showed me what type of man he was." - Travis Johnson

Week 5 Picks: So far, I'm 8-5 this week. San Francisco, Detroit, Denver, Tampa Bay and Green Bay couldn't get it done for me.

MLB Playoffs: So far, I'm right on my picks. Now I just need those damned Yankees to just quit and lose.

Monday Night Football Pick: Dallas. I wish they would lose to Buffalo, but it's not going to happen. It kind of says something when, on the Monday Night Previews, they tout Tony Romo and the Cowboys...and then they are left with noone to tout for the Bills but Marshawn Lynch.

Thanks to Google Images for the picture and KSK for the quote

So I've Noticed I Don't Do Much But Make Picks...

Christmas Tree Says Don't Do Drugs

Christmas is about 2 months away, which means time to start making that wonderful list of things I desire that most people call a Christmas List. Now, I know that some families probably don't start doing this stuff until November, but in my family we live by a simple rule, "show up late to everything, and do Christmas Lists 2 months early" the way it has been since I was born. The one thing that I hate about these lists is that video games are so hard to do, half the games I will put on here probably aren't out yet, so I don't know how good they are. Another thing, this list would have about 5 more items on it, but I've hit the point with extended family where I don't get anything anymore. Oh well, life goes on, and I can't wait to screw over my brother and sister's kids like that.

Under .500 Christmas 1

Jay Cutler Denver Jersey: Jay is, as a friend would say, Da Fewtcha (sound it out), so why not get the official replica jersey of such person? Sure, there is the potential that he could go all Brian Griese, Bubby Brister, Gus Frerotte, and Jake Plummer on us and suck in the end, but that is a risk I am willing to take.

Harry Potter 1-7 Box Set: I don't care what anyone says, Harry Potter is awesome. Granted, none of the books I actually own thanks to my sister, but I figure it's time to shell out.

Dragonball Z Seasons 1 and 2: This show was so bad ass when I was a youngin, and now that it is uncut on DVD, it is a lot cooler. I don't care how nerdy it is.

Blue Dragon: The first of my video game choices for the holiday season. This game has been out since August, but why buy it when I can get it for free?

WWE Raw Vs. Smackdown 2008: After some of my posts, are you really surprised by this? New rosters, new modes, the ability to put my own music in for entrances and CM Punk make this well worthwhile.

Assassin's Creed: XBOX360 game number 3 on the list. Granted, it isn't out until November, I am hoping, praying and otherwise wishing it doesn't suck. It looks so completely bad ass though, that I don't think it will suck.

Grindhouse Special Edition: I know that it hasn't been announced at all, but I am hoping so badly that they release this. I don't want to buy them separate, I want them in all their 4 hour glory. I sat through it that long in theaters for a reason.

A Denver Broncos Super Bowl: It's worth a shot.

Peyton Manning Injured: Once again, it's worth a shot, and I think a lot of other NFL players wouldn't mind it either.

World Peace: This one is for the little kiddies, the environment, and the wee turtles. Who will save the wee turtles?

On To The Week 5 Picks:

Jac @ KC - If they can beat denver
CLE @ NE
CAR @ NO
NYJ @ NYG - Welcome to "The Suck"
MIA @ HOU
SEA @ PIT - I'd say that Seattle would avenge the Super Bowl loss, but it's the regular season
DET @ WAS - Win number whatever, I think 4 of 10
ATL @ TEN
ARI @ STL
TB @ IND - Another week of picking against them, please come true.
SD @ DEN - For everything good and holy in the world.
BAL @ SF
CHI @ GB

And Now Because I Can, and I'm Only 3 Days Late...

Rockies over Phillies

Bo Sox over Angels

Arizona over Cubbies

Indians over Yankees - If I have to see Boston/New York again I'll cry.

And now I leave you with Klassic Krusty...Please go commit Regicide now.

Thanks Google Images...again.

And We're Back...

Mother of God You're Fun

Wow, Halo 3 is amazing. That's why this is so late, but it was well worth it. Now if only I can get my 360 back and quit having to use my residents.

7-9 after a horrible, horrible last week. 27-21 for the year, winners in bold.

Houston (2-1, 1-0 away)
Atlanta (0-3, 0-1 home)
Begin regretting trading Schaub right about now

Baltimore (2-1, 0-1 away)
Cleveland (1-2, 1-1 home)

Chicago (1-2, 0-1 away)
Detroit (2-1, 1-0 home)
I honestly think Sexy Rexy is better than Griese, I'm a Denver fan, I know

Green Bay (3-0, 1-0 away)
Minnesota (1-2, 1-0 home)

Tampa Bay (2-1, 0-1 away)
Carolina (2-1, 0-1 home)
David Carr redemption time

Pittsburgh (3-0, 1-0 away)
Arizona (1-2, 1-0 home)

Philadelphia (1-2, 0-1 away)
New York Giants (1-2, 0-1 home)

New York Jets (1-2, 0-1 away)
Buffalo (0-3, 0-1 home)

St. Louis (0-3, 0-1 away)
Dallas (3-0, 1-0 home)

Oakland (1-2, 0-1 away)
Miami (0-3, 0-1 home)

Seattle (2-1, 0-1 away)
San Francisco (2-1, 1-0 home)

Denver (2-1, 1-0 away)
Indianapolis (3-0, 1-0 home)
Upset of the week

Kansas City (1-2, 0-2 away)
San Diego (1-2, 1-0 home)
The Chargers are THAT BAD

New England (3-0, 1-0 away)
Cincinnati (1-2, 1-0 home)

Thanks to Google Images...again, as well as my good commie friend Ril Phobles

It's Been A Long Time Coming...

It's so b-e-a-utiful

SWEET HOLY JESUS, IT'S FINALLY HAPPENING!!!!!!

Read it and weep, the Kansas City Royals are not going to lose 100 games this year! For the first time since 2003, my junior year of high school for those keeping score at home, the Royals are going to finish with under 100 losses. Now I know that to most teams this is nothing to be proud of, but for a Royals fan this is amazing. For the past three years I have sat and watched Allard Baird, Buddy Bell and David Glass destroy the team that was once one of the greatest in the bigs. Fast forward to know and we have Baird replaced by a competent GM, Buddy leaving at the end of the season, and David Glass being forced into putting up a little cash for the team. Gone are the days of seeing our talent traded away, no more will we see another instance like Beltran being traded away to keep a no talent bum like Mike Sweeney. The best part of all of this is the strong upside with the team, considering that the bulk of the frame being built for the team is no older than 26, that means we can have the guys that are building the base for a long time...pending David Glass actually sticks to his word. It's amazing to me, the potential that I will get to see the Royals post a winning season for the seventh time in my 21 year lifespan. It's downright exciting to know that in 3 years, mark my words, the Royals will be contending for the AL Central title and then the World Series in 5...let's see the Red Sox come up with that kind of consistency.

NFL Time:
Currently I am 20-12 on my weekly picks for the seasons games. For those who are not talented in the ways of math, that means I am 10-6 again. Here's hoping that I can keep up a winning streak all year long.

Miami @ NYJ

SD @ GB

SF @ Pit

Buffalo @ NE

Min @ KC - The Croyle era nears

Det @ Philly - Here comes 3 out of 10

STL @ TB

Arizona @ Bal

Indy @ Houston - Schaub keeps the dream alive

Jac @ Den

Cleveland @ Oakland - Another week without Brady

Cinnci @ Sea

Carolina @ ATL - Leftwich by week 6

NYG @ Was

Dal @ Chi

Ten @ NO

Credit to Wikipedia, Google Images, and NFL.com

Where Do We Draw The Line?

Gotta Love The Missing Tooth...Fuckin Canada

As a wrestling fan, on June 25th 2007, my world was rocked. That was the day that Chris Benoit murdered his family and then hung himself, effectively ending the life and career of one of the most brilliant performers to ever step into a professional wrestling ring and his family. While everywhere else, you may hear the witch hunt that is going on over steroids in the business and how some 20 WWE "superstars" have been suspended over being linked to the online pharmaceuticals, I'm going to go a different route. Not only because I realize that not every wrestler is on steroids, but moreso because there is a different discussion I want to dive into here, one that is very controvesial. In the next few months, the decisions are going to be made for who should be inducted into the WWE Hall of Fame, and in what may be a shock to some of you, I want Chris Benoit to be inducted. Don't get me wrong, what Chris Benoit did to his family and self are horrible, heinous acts, but let us remember one thing, there is Chris Benoit the person and Chris Benoit the performer. We all know what he did outside of the ring, so I am not planning to discuss that any further, I prefer to focus on his in ring acclaims. Plus, hey, O.J killed people and he's in the NFL Hall of Fame.

Since 1985, Chris Benoit has been a champion 32 times for seven different promotions. He is a Royal Rumble winner, entering at the number 1 spot, and the twelfth Triple Crown champion meaning that he has held the major title (i.e. World Heavyweight Championship), the tag titles and the second tier title (i.e. the Intercontinental or US Championships) and distinguishes himself among such names as Pedro Morales, Bret Hart, Shawn Michaels and Ric Flair. Alongside those, he has been given other awards from The Wrestling Observer Newsletter for "Best Feud of the Year" for his feud in 2004 with Shawn Michaels and Triple H, "Most Underrated Wrestler" in 1998, "Most Outstanding Wrestler" in 2000, "Best Technical Wrestler" in 1994 and 2004 as well as "Best Brawler" and "Most Outstanding Wrestler" in 2004. In 2004, PWI awarded him "Feud of the Year", "Match of the Year", Wrestler of the Year", and ranked him #1 out of the top 500 singles wrestlers. Alongside all of the awards and championships, there is one thing about Chris Benoit that sets him above many of the other wrestlers in the world, he was one of the 4 Horseman. Considered an honor in the world of pro-wrestling, the 4 Horseman stable is one of the most popular factions ever created, with members ranging from Ric Flair and Arn Anderson to Chris Benoit and Dean Malenko.

So there you have it, my case for why Chris Benoit the character should be inducted into the WWE Hall of Fame. I know it won't happen, not this year, not the year after, probably never. Though, if it does, I do hope that whoever inducts him does make sure to press the issue that what Chris Benoit the person did is a horrible and despicable thing to do and that they are inducting Chris Benoit the character. How the mighty fall.

NFL WEEK 2 PICKS (winners in bold):

Indy @ Tenn

GB @ NYG

Cinn @ Cle

Hou @ Car

NO @ TB

Buf @ Pit

Atl @ Jac

SF @ STL

Min @ Det

Sea @ Ari

Dal @ Mia

KC @ Chi

NYJ @ Bal - See how they do when their signals aren't being stolen

Oak @ Den

SD @ NE - They don't need to steal the Norv's signals

Was @ Phi

I am currently 10-6 on picks this year. Here's hoping for more success.

Thanks to Google Images for providing me with yet another great picture.

Week 1...Sort Of

So I know there are 2 games left to be played tonight, but I thought I would give a little update on my picks for week 1.

Saints v. Colts
I picked the Saints, what a mistake

Philly v. Green Bay
Green Bay won, I was wrong again

Atlanta v. Minnesota
Minnesota killed them, I failed again

Miami v. Washington
Damn, I'm doing as good as ESPN...wrong again

New England v. NYJ
I finally got one right

Tennessee v. Jacksonville
2 in a row

Denver v. Buffalo
3 in a row thanks to Mr. Elam

Pittv. Cleveland v. Brady Quinn's Gayness
I threw this one

Carolina v. ST. Louis
4 correct so far

KC v. Houston
I said they would be that bad

TB v. Seattle
Dull as hell, but I was right

Chicago v. San Diego
Damn, just damn

Detroit v. Oakland
1 down, 9 to go Mr. Kitna

NYG v. Dallas
I win again

So i am 8-6 on this week...so far. Monday Night doubleheader tonight, it's Baltimore and Cinncinatti, then Arizone and San Fran later, both on the WWL.

In other news, my beloved Royals are still out of last place and one win away from not losing 100 games this year. No other team in the league will be able to understand how exciting this is, this is the first time since my junior year of high school that the Royals are out of last place legitimately. I think I might go light a trash can on fire in celebration...

It's not a trash can, but LA knows how to get it done.

My 6 Month National Nightmare Is Over...

Tonight the new football season gets underway. it's been a long road to get here, full of basketball, baseball, soccer, and shitty variants like the AFL, AFL2, and World Cup of American Football, but tonight is the night. So, without further ado, these are my picks for Week 1, winners in bold.

Saints v. Colts
Wishing, hoping and praying that the Saints win...and maybe even take Manning out for the year. If they don't fall to the Super Bowl hangover, I just might not make it the whole season.

Philly v. Green Bay

Hotlanta v. Minnesota
The Joey Harrington redemption party starts against the purple guys.

Miami v. Washington
Barring Trent Green getting knocked loopy again, I see them winning.

New England v. NYJ
For the sake of my fantasy teams.

Ten-I-See v. Jacksonville

Denver v. Buffalo
With Travis Henry having his 9 children in orbit around his body, he will be unstoppable.

Pitt v. Cleveland v. Brady Quinn's Gayness
Your haircut doesn't fool me.

Carolina v. St. Louis

KC v. Houston
The Chiefs will be that bad.

TB v. Seattle

Chicago v. San Diego
The Bears have to be pissed about that Madden commercial...and now we get to see how it would really go down.

Detroit v. Oakland
Win 1 of 10 coming up. Sorry Josh McCown.

NYG v. Dallas

Baltimore v. Cinnci

Arizona v. San Francisco

So there you have it, my picks for week 1. If I'm right, I'm right. If I'm wrong, then fuck you.

I Work With A Communist...

Communist?

Submitted for your approval, I present to you a co-worker of mine. For sake of his anonymity, let us call him Phil R. No, that is way too obvious, how about P. Robles. Oh fuck it, he is now going to be referred to as Ril Phobles. Anyway, Ril Phobles is somthing I like to call a communist. Yes, you heard me correctly, a communist. Now, you may be asking yourself one of three questions, who is this, why am i here, and why do i care? Well, I cannot answer those questions for you, tough shit. Also, you may potentially be wondering how it is that I know he is a communist, and for that, my answer is three fold.

Reason Ril is a Communist #1:

He likes the Boston Red Six. Now, you may be wondering what rationale I have for that making someone a communist. Simply put, there is no rationale for it. I just don't like the Bo Sox, nor do I like Bill Simmons who is a Bo Sox fan, and I bet Marx was a Bo Sox fan too. Sure, it was cute and all when they finally won the world series, congradu-fuckin-lations, get over it. Sure, it is all fun and games with their japanese pitcher, whoopedy doo. Fuckin communist Red Sox.

Reason Ril is a Communist #2:

He thinks that George Bush is only a great president. We all know that isn't true, everyone and their dog knows he is the greatest ever. Only a communist would think he was just great, an unpatriotic, anti-american, potentially anti-semetic, terrorist, communist bastard. Yeah, I said it. Ril also likes French Fries, not Freedom fries and he also eats Sour Kraut and not Freedom Cabbage. I bet he even kicks puppies long distances for fun too.

Reason Ril is a Commie Son Of A Bitch #3:

He likes to run the dollar defense on Madden. Now, don't get me wrong, I'm not the kind of guy that is going to be dumb enough to play as the Bears on Madden 08 against the Ravens and be so pissed about him running the same defense on me that I go and write a malicious blog where i make an accusation that he is a communist. I hold myself to a higher stanbdard than that. When it comes to defense, I generally stick with the 4-3, 3-4, nickel, 46 and on occasion the quarter. Most people do too, but not Ril, he has to try and be sneaky and pull a defense I am pretty sure I never heard of until yesterday (edit#1: I actually am pretty sure my little league team ran this defense now that I think of it.).

There you have it, Communist or just another guy I know? Only time will tell.

(edit #2: I did beat Ril 85-10 on NCAA, and that was my first Madden 08 loss to Ril.)

Madden 08, You Are A Cruel Mistress

Dear EA-
I want to apologize to you. I don't do this because you were right, I do this because it is the right thing to do. Before Madden 08 came out, you said that the AI in the game would be improved as opposed to previous years and I scoffed. After two years of being told that and seeing games in which I would dominate for four quarters and win games 77-0, I put in Madden 08 and lost. What is worst of all about it is that I lost on All-Pro, not even All-Madden, and I shudder to think what the result would have been if I had played it on All-Madden. I was not a believer in you, I cried foul at everything good that was being said about the game and the improvements and showed such little faith as to say I would wait until I saw other people playing before I would buy it. I am sorry for the heresy, I am sorry for being a skeptic, I only wish that you could forgive me as I will forgive you for the few problems with the game. Now, I'm not one of those obsessive college students who do nothing but play Madden all day, but why did you feel the need to make my players fumble the ball all the time? LaDainian Tomlinson even fumbles and you good folks at EA have such a hard on for him, how would that make him feel? You're right, he probably wouldn't care at all as he sleeps on his piles and piles of money surrounded by beautiful women every night. I'm also not one of those college kids that will hate a player for screwing them over in a game of Madden, but dammit Marshawn Lynch, I can't believe that they called pass interference on Al Wilson for laying your rookie ass out on play action. I hope you break your tibia this year. I guess that what I am trying to say is thank you. Thank you EA Sports for finally giving me a challenge with Madden, for finally making me think twice before I throw the ball up to a receiver getting triple covered for now I know that he probably won't come down with it and the defense will make some sort of a bobbled circus catch and run it back for a touchdown but not before laying out Jay Cutler and injuring him for the season leaving me with Patrick fucking Ramsey for my quarterback the rest of the season. Fuckers.

Sincerely,
King of the Herculoids

Son of a Bitch

thanks to http://www.seahawkshuddle.com/ by way of google images for the picture

Another Under .500 Top 10

Simply put, I hate the state of Missouri. Growing up in Kansas, among other things, I always found it a screwjob that the teams were in Missouri. With the tickets having first priority for the residents of Jackson County, it was always a screwjob to go to the games and see nothing but Kansas license plates with the little JO in the corner always there and paying to go and supporting the teams, but the ingrates from Missouri getting the first dibs on tickets. Granted, I could care less about the Chiefs (unless they're playing the Broncos), but what if the Royals made the playoffs? It would be all of the people in Jackson County getting the first crack at tickets, when all season long it was the Kansans going and supporting the team. I thought I was done with all of that when I graduated high school, until this summer when I started working in Missouri. That said, I am going to chronicle the top 10 of the other reasons why I hate the state of Missouri. So without further ado...

Why I Hate Missouri, Top 10 Style:

10. The St. Louis Arch
Looking back at the other large architectural behemoths in our country, such as the Statue of Liberty, The Empire State Building, Brooklyn Bridge, The Golden Gate Bridge, and every monument in D.C., I see no reason for the Arch. It's a big memorial for Jefferson and his dealings in the Louisiana Purchase, the first civil government west of the Mississippi, and Dred Scott. So why not run this down, you have a celebration of a purchase that gave us a lot of land...I thought we already had one in D.C., but I could be wrong. The first civil government west of the Mississippi, nice try Missouri, but if you didn't do it one of the other states would have. Finally, the Dred Scott case. Just like Missouri, celebrating a case in which a slave was denied freedom despite his living in free states. Wow, way to go slavery loving Missouri.

Sorry Dred, Welcome To Missouri!

9. The Mormon War Wars With Everyone Around Them
I'm not Mormon, but at the same time, I am not against any religion. If people want to believe something, then they can believe whatever it is that they want. After being granted statehood in 1821, Missouri was settled by Southerner and Mormons who came from the north, soon it turned into a war in 1839 the Mormons were expelled. Not only that, but they got into border disputes with Iowa that resulted in both states calling up militias to the borders. Throw that in with all of their issues with Kansas, which will be covered later, and you've got a real winner there.

8. The Earnings Tax
In Missouri, they have an earnings tax in which you have to pay if you work in the state. It's a nice money maker for when all fo the professional sports players come in to play at Arrowhead of Kauffman and they get taxed from their millions. What I don't like is getting my paycheck every two weeks to be docked more money because I have the grave misfortune of having to drive across the state line to work in Missouri, it's bogus and should be abolished as soon as possible.

7. Low Per Capita Income
According to the 2003 Bureau of Economic Analysis, Missouri was ranked 27th. 27th out of 50. Sad and ridiculous, oh wait, that is because all of the players on your sports teams live in Kansas.

6. They Tried To Interfere With The Settling Of Kansas
Almost instantly after Kansas was declared a territory by the Kansas-Nebraska Act, Missouri sent in settlers to try and interfere in the process because they wanted Kansas to be a slave state. Granted, the northern states had people come in as well, this isn't about them, and yes, they did fight eachother. This time was what we like to call Bleeding Kansas, way to go Missouri...bring your hostility and violence over the borders.

5. Missouri Was A Slave State
Slave State, enough said. And not only that, they tried to promote it. Lucky for them they never really got completely on the secession bandwagon and the Union was able to place a pro-Union government that proceeded to beat the pro-Confederate side of Missouri into retreat to Arkansas.

4. Kurt Warner
Yeah, I know that he is in Arizona with the Cardinals now. Sadly, it was you Missouri that unleashed the hell upon us that was Kurt Warner and his wife. I still shudder to think of either of them, one a fluke quarterback, the other just a fluke. I feel nightmares coming on now.

3. The Missouri License Plate
I thought Kansas was pretty bad as far as license plates go, but damn. This is pretty horrible right here...I mean really, what is the deal with the hideous colors?

God That is ugly

2. The People Who Go To The Pool I Work At
Really now, I still cannot grasp this at all. How can you repeatedly see signs that say "cash only" and still come up and ask if we take plastic? How can you respond to us with a "yes" when we ask it you're ready to order and then come up and not know what you want? How can you not figure out that when our sign says that cheese is 75 cents, it means that is how much it costs? Is Missouri at some sort of genetic disadvantage? Really? I don't get it.

1. Missouri Drivers
I know that everyone thinks that the drivers in the state near them are horrible, or that drivers from other states are bad, but really guys, Missouri is God awful. Don't get me wrong, there are a few who are a credit to their state as far as driving goes, but overall, a majority of the residents of that state suck at driving. I know I'm not perfect when it comes to driving, but geeze these people are bad. I would rather be stuck on the road with old people than on the road with Missouri drivers.

So there you have it, ten of the reasons why I hate the state of Missouri. Granted, there are some who are credits to the state and represent it well in nearly every aspect of life, but as a whole the state sucks. Yes, I do know that I am probably biased because of the inter-state rivalry that is shared because I was born and raised in Kansas, but I do my best to maintain an open mind about everything. So, in closing I will leave you with this quote and my thanks to the Wiki for giving me a picture.


"While others throughout the North were shocked and outraged by the firing on Fort Sumter on April 12, 1861, Kansans reacted differently. Many in the new state were elated at the prospects of a war with the South, or more specifically, many in Kansas relished the opportunity to punish their one and only neighbor, Missouri. --excerpt from "Black Flag" by Thomas Goodrich

Who's Now?

ESPN is a cruel mistress, simple as that. ESPN was great a little over a decade ago, then they got bought by the mouse in 1995. Ever since, ESPN has gone downhill in a horrible crashing and burning fashion and it irritates me to no end. Among my major dislikes with ESPN, some of the notables are as follows...Stuart Scott, Stuart Scott's Eye, Skip Bayless, anything Chris Berman that does not pertain to leather, the forcing of Nascar upon the masses, human interest stories on Sportscenter, anything involving the Make A Wish foundation, 75% of the Sportscenter anchors, Keyshawn Johnson, Stephen A. Smith, and the most recent piece of garbage, the Who's Now bracket. If this comes off more as a soccer fan complaining, I am sorry.

Starting in July, ESPN got the idea to put together a bracket called Who's Now. The point of said bracket is to try and determine who the ultimate god of sports is...or something to that effect, through the analysis of their "on field success and off field buzz" whatever the hell that means. Split into four brackets bearing the names of legendary athletes, we get match ups such as Tiger Woods and Matt Leinart, Peyton Manning and Amanda Beard, Tom Brady and David Ortiz, Ronaldinho and Kobe, and Beckham and LaDainian. Before I get into my two major issues with this, I want to run down some of these match ups that they have.

Tiger Woods and Matt Leinart:
Tiger Woods is the number 1 ranked golfer in the world, he's married to a model and they recently had a child. For every win he has (of which there are many), Tiger gets paid in the millions. Not only that, he also has millions of dollars in endorsements. Matt Leinart plays for a shitty team, I haven't seen him in a commercial where he is endorsing anything since the draft in 06, and he's got a kid with a college basketball player (despite her hotness), I don't know about you, but I think this is a little ridiculous to even consider. They might as well just give Tiger a bye because there is no way anyone in their right mind would pick Leinart.

Peyton Manning and Amanda Beard:
Payton got the Super Bowl finally, after choking year in and year out for the previous 6 or 7 years, and he makes annoying commercials. I'm a little biased, but there is not a single athlete I hate more than Peyton Manning. We get it, your dad played in the NFL and your brother does too...your commercials and your family still don't make you less of a douche. On the contrary, Amanda Beard is an olympic swimmer. That means she has competed with the best in the world and won...not to mention she did it a lot of it when she was 16. She is also hot, I don't care how much air brushing was involved, she was hot in the Playboy issue and she is also a swimmer so that means she has a very nice body and can probably go for hours on end. I am ok with that, so she wins.

Ronaldinho and Kobe:
This is where ESPN pisses me off. You want to get Kobe to advance, but you know it won't happen in an ideal way, so you put him up against an athlete who should, by all logic win, but won't because it is soccer and this is America. Being such, only about 30% of the population are enlightened enough to realize the stupidity of choosing Kobe. Ronaldinho has been player of the year in the world's game, won the world cup, plays for one of the top teams in the world, plays against some of the best athletes in the world, is known worldwide in a better light than Kobe, and is one of the poster boys for soccer. Now, conversely, Kobe is essentially the same for the NBA, there is only one difference. THE WORLD LIKES SOCCER BETTER THAN BASKETBALL.

Beckham and LaDainian:
Don't get me wrong here, I like LT. But LT hasn't done shit, sure he has the records, but how many Super Bowls has he won? David Beckham has won championship after championship throughout his career, he is THE poster boy above everyone else when it comes to soccer, he has played in 3 World Cups and scored, and he has made a resurgance enough in his career to be brought back to the two teams he was exiled from, Real Madrid and Englands National Team. He is also coming to America in about 3 days to play in the MLS for a contract that with endorsements will be worth hundreds of thousands of dollars. The guy is complete tabloid fodder everywhere in the world and will be here when he arrives, but, once again ESPN wanted to try and give someone they want to push a free pass. As such, Beckham, despite being one of the few people in here who could justifiably win, loses because that is the way the 70% of America view soccer.

First, if ESPN wanted to ignore the world stage, which apparently they do, they shouldn't have included the athletes who are available on the world stage like Shaun White, Amanda Beard, Ronaldinho, Beckham, etc. If so, they need to take that into account and modify the seeding they used because in all reality, Beckham should be higher than a 7 seed and Ronaldinho higher than a 6 seed because of the criteria used.

Second, if ESPN wants to have any kind of credibility they need to have a different panel for the discussion on Sportscenter. Keyshawn Johnson, Mike Wilbon, and Kirk Herbstreit have to be the biggest joke of a panel I have seen since American Idol. Wilbon is the ultimate hater of anything worldwide, Herbstreit is just a jackass, and Keyshawn Johnson is the biggest joke of an analyst I have ever seen and the only reason he has a job now is because they needed a new obnoxious former NFL player to replace Michael Irvin. I would almost rather have Skip Bayless involved than either of these three and I utterly despise Skip.

Maybe, one of these days ESPN can bounce back from their wayward path and become the great channel they once were when I was in elementary school and I would watch with my brother every morning. Until then, I guess there's always Fox Sports and Deadspin.

More Than Meets The Eye...Top Ten

In honor of the new transformers movie coming out today/tomorrow, I'm going to do a top ten list of my favorites. Take note that these are my personal favorites, so if you don't agree...too bad, feel free to argue with me in a comment or something. Also, these are only coming from the original Transformers (G1), the original 1986 movie, Beast Machines and Beast Wars...because those were all I watched. So without further ado...

10. Optimal Optimus (Beast Wars)
Season 3 of Beast Wars brought on changes, one of the biggest was another transformation for Optimus Primal, no longer was he the regular gorilla or even the transmetal gorilla with the surfboard, no, he merged with the spark of the original Optimus Prime and became Optimal Optimus. Far superior to everyone else, he could become a robot, a gorilla, an ATV, and a jet...tough break to the ones that didn't get changed because everything else was unsanitary. Sadly, he kind of was a puss in Beast Machines and even though I didn't watch it a lot, I know that much so he loses points and is only number 10.



9. Bumblebee (G1/Movie 1986/Movie 2007)
I had the original Bumblebee toy...nuff said. Actually, Bumblebee was one of the less obnoxious ones from the original cartoon, and consequently, the movie...Grimlock I am looking in your direction. He was also a VW Bug, which despite being outdated and kinda gay now, was cool way back in the 80's when it first happened.

8. Megatron (Beast Wars)
Megatron in Beast Wars was a dinosaur, then a transmetal dinosaur, and then he became a dragon. He was a complete nutjob, had an overusing love of the word yes, was threatened with mutiny by his troops, and followed suit with Optimus and took the spark of the original Megatron, what's not to love? I'd give him a higher ranking, but he's also not the original, so he doesn't get much more than this.

7. Inferno (Beast Wars)
Inferno was one of the many in the show Beast Wars that came from the stasis pods that were jettisoned from the Maximal spaceship as they were crashing onto Earth. The funny thing about Inferno is that he is an ant, and he maintains the ant mentality by calling Megatron his queen. I'm sorry but that is funny right there, and not only that, but he gets dumber every season. He looked a lot cooler than he should have too, for as worthless as he managed to be for most of the show.



6. Perceptor (G1, Movie 1986)
Perceptor was actually pretty useless. I never saw him really do anything because he was more or less a scientist, so he was always doing gay science stuff instead of fighting. He was in the movie too, but was pretty useless there too. The only reason he is on the list is because of my enjoyment in what his alternate mode was, a microscope. Take it for what it is.

5. Megatron/Galvatron (G1, Movie 1986, Movie 2007)
The leader of the decepticons, Megatron was easily one of my favorites. He was a gun, an alien gun and an alien spaceship in his alternate modes and was voiced by Frank Welker, Leonard Nimoy, and to a lesser extent Hugo Weaving. He got his ass handed to him by Optimus Prime in the movie and was left for dead by the opportunistic Starscream until he got revived by Unicron who had enslaved him until the end of the movie.

4. Optimus Prime (G1, Movie 1986, Movie 2007)
Optimus is what I like to call awesome. He was a semi-truck, I had his toy, and he was the leader. Made all the other leaders of cartoon/action figure teams look like punk bitches...Duke I am looking in your direction. Despite dying in the 1986 movie, he was around for more or less everything and actually got brought back to the cartoon despite his death. He was voiced by Peter Cullen in the cartoon and now both movies as he was brought in to voice Prime in the new movie. Despite not having the combined sparks of both he and Optimus Primal, he is still so much better.

3. Unicron (Movie 1986)
A planet that is a transformer. I'm sorry, but if that is not bad ass then I do not know what is. He was the bad guy in the 1986 movie, he was a planet and a giant robot, and he brought Megatron back to become Galvatron, he also pisses excellence...as far as robots are able to piss. Not only was he all this, but he was voiced by Orson Welles. Yes, Orson fucking Welles. Holy shit he is great.



2. Starscream (G1, Movie 1986, Movie 2007, Beast Wars)
Starscream is my favorite of all the original characters. Teamed with Megatron, he provided the second half to the Decepticons that gave them the craziest leaders in all of Transformers. Not only that, he was also featured in Beast Wars on multiple occasions, has a large role in the new movie, died (but was still great) in the 1986 movie, and best of all is immortal. In Beast Wars, it was revealed that his spark was indestructible...just adding to his badass quotient.



1. Dinobot (Beast Wars)
Dinobot was originally Megatrons second in command in the Beast Wars until he was ousted from the team for challenging Megatron in which he ended up with the Maximals throughout. Dinobot was the ultimate bad ass of Beast Wars because he was the warrior, he fought until there was nothing else. Though not immune from some treachery, he joined up with the Predacons at one point in an attempt to stop Megatron from achieving his goals with the golden discs. He would meet his end shortly after while fighting all of the Predacons in an attempt to stop them from destroying the future of humanity. That episode is my favorite of the series, and the same is felt among many fans of the show. Dinobot was even cloned by Megatron and brought back as a Predacon and used to fight the Maximals until the end of the series when he came to realize who he was and he turned on Megatron again.



So there you have it, my favorite transformers. It's my list, I got the pictures from the Wiki (like i do every picture on here), and if you don't agree with it...feel free to say so in the comments.